You know the way statues of footballers are, more often than not, rubbish? None more so, of course, than the Cristiano Ronaldo one that was unveiled at Madeira Airport in 2017. But spare a thought for the Colombian legend that is Radamel Falcao. He already had one erected in his hometown of Santa Marta years back that drew universal chuckles because, well, it looked nothing like him.
The poor sculptor got dog’s abuse at the time, the fella attempting to defend himself by pointing out that he was self-taught and was not an actual professional, instead earning his living as a railway mechanic. To which rude people generally replied: “It shows.”
Well, a brand new statue, created by a different sculptor, has just been unveiled. Is it any better? Alas, no. To be honest, it looks a whole lot more like Mitt Romney, the Republican Party’s nominee in the 2012 US presidential election. Maybe it’ll be third time lucky if anyone else is brave enough to have a go.
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“They play typical island football, more commonly associated with England and Scotland. It means a simple game, crosses into the penalty area for players to head. They are an average team in terms of play, but with an immense heart.” Oi, Czech Republic manager Miroslav Koubek? See you in Prague.
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By the Numbers: 1,800,000,000
After the closure of the transfer window, the BBC got out its calculator to figure out which club has spent most in the last five years. Drum roll: Chelsea, with just the €1.8 billion outlay.
Word of Mouth
“This isn’t meant to offend the player, he’s not to blame at all. But when you have suckers like that, well done to Rennes! Let them continue, all these English clubs, sending us tens of millions of euros, it’s a football that has lost its mind.” France old boy Christophe Dugarry somewhat questioning Liverpool’s decision to spend €70m (ish) on Rennes defender Jérémy Jacquet.
“I had dinner in the stadium on Tuesday. Macaroni cheese, a burger and sushi.” All Mikel Arteta had to do to complete the weirdness of that meal was add a fried egg.
“It’s like choosing between your Mum and Dad.” Manchester United old boy Phil Jones on having to say who’s the greater, Messi or Ronaldo. He edged towards Ronaldo in the end, but didn’t say whether he’s his Ma or Da.
More Word of Mouth
“He was outstanding. He looked like a mix of [Hristo] Stoichkov and Lothar Matthäus in his prime.” Leeds United manager Daniel Farke a touch excited by Ilia Gruev’s performance against Nottingham Forest on Friday night.
“He forgot to sign the DocuSign we sent to them, would you believe, and we weren’t able to get the extension for it – which was gutting.” Northampton manager Kevin Nolan explaining why, after agreeing a deal, the club failed to signed their number one target in the transfer window. Mind you, considering Northampton are in relegation trouble in League One, maybe he just got sense.
“Estevao said he can’t believe that I was a professional footballer.” Liam Rosenior on his young Brazilian winger’s verdict after he saw his Chelsea gaffer’s “couldn’t trap a bag of cement” effort at controlling a ball on the sideline last week.
Sympathy in short supply for Ronaldo in Saudi Arabia
You’ll have heard that Cristiano Ronaldo is in a huff over Al Nassr’s failure to strengthen the side, not least when rivals Al Hilal spent big by signing Karim Benzema. So much so he missed Al Nassr’s last two games in protest.
How much sympathy have Al Hilal supporters shown to the lad? Not much. They’ve plastered the surrounds of their stadium with a poster of a weeping Ronaldo, captioned: “Oh, people of good will! I present to you a missing man in his forties who suffers from excessive crying. His family and friends are looking for him. Whoever finds him, please call 7777-222-43-41.” Unkind.
