Children have a right to know if a parent is diagnosed with cancer and it is better to tell them in their own terminology than create a taboo at home, a counsellor has said.
Linda Fulton, Irish Cancer Society psychotherapist and counsellor, said children could develop an exaggerated fear of the disease and even feel they were somehow to blame if they were not told.
When a parent was diagnosed, it should be communicated to the children, however testing the parent may find it. "Many parents speak of how, when they tell the children, there is often a sense of release," she said.
Parents did not want to see the child upset but other family members and friends were already upset. The child, if told, could work through it with the family and ways would be found of dealing with the upset.
"Children are also better able to cope in an environment where asking about the issue is encouraged and dealt with in an open manner," Ms Fulton said.
Children often sensed things and were sensitive to stress and tension.
If parents tried to protect children by saying nothing, they may feel isolated and worry that something even worse was happening, she said. If a parent or sibling was not going to recover, it was important to balance hope with reality and try to face it with the children, allowing them to be part of the process. This was likely to help them with their recovery from grief and look to the future, she advised.
A cancer society spokeswoman said it was estimated that 22,500 new cases of cancer would be diagnosed in the State this year but fortunately the survival rates for those diagnosed were increasing. Ms Fulton later addressed a conference of support groups affiliated to the society in Dublin.