Bertie plays it cool when it comes to thin ice in Smithfield's rink

The Smithfield ice-rink was not fully operational when the Taoiseach dropped by for a sneak preview yesterday.

Organisers said it would take another day or so for the under-rink ice tubes and freezing agent to complete their work, well in time for the public opening on Friday. But maybe they could have speeded up the process by inviting the Tánaiste to attend the preview too.

Relations between the Government parties have been frosty of late, and the added chill around Smithfield could not have done the rink any harm. Maybe Bertie and Mary could even have taken to the ice together, Torvill & Dean style, giving us a chance to judge how their co-ordination is holding up under the strain of recent events.

Would they be spinning in opposite directions during the difficult future of Aer Lingus section of their act? Might the Taoiseach experience a sudden lurch to the left just as he was supposed to catch the Tánaiste after a triple axel, causing her to land heavily and backslide? Would his reported acting lessons improve their marks for artistic impression? We'll never know.

In fact, the ice being thin, Mr Ahern didn't even go on a solo run - a departure from recent Fianna Fáil policy. He stayed well clear of the rink, and confined himself instead to posing for photographs with Ireland's top ice skater Nadia Elatrash, and a model named "Ice Princess Janaina", who incidentally was sporting a Russian-style fur hat.

This was the kind of headgear Lenin might have worn. And having failed to get Bertie in skates, the media would have happily settled for a picture of him trying on the hat.

Unfortunately, the suggestion cut no ice with his handlers.

The 24,000 sq ft rink incorporates 21 miles of tubing and 200 tonnes of steel. It will use 500 gallons of freezing agent to make its 120 tonnes of ice, and 65 people will be employed during its eight weeks of operation, ending on January 9th.

With the Luas stopping nearby, the organisers hope to top the 110,000 attendance for last year's event, and are now taking bookings at  www.smithfieldonice.ie or tel.01-4487777.