GAA must give referees something more than a whistle

It’s been the plaintive soundtrack to the 2016 championship; consistency from referees, usually phrased in “all we want” terms, like it’s the most straightforward thing in the world in a mundane list along with life, love and world peace. Of course everyone wants that. I haven’t heard anyone yet shouting for more inconsistency.

But it’s futile, an exercise in saying something for the sake of it. We get enough of that in everyday life so this is getting real old, especially since it appears there’s no urge to try to do anything constructive, to actually do something, about it.

I accept there’s a danger of becoming a one-string banjo in repeating how you need to be something of a masochist to be a GAA referee these days, but there really is a need to get a plucking move-on here.

When Maurice Deegan was chosen to referee the Dublin-Mayo All-Ireland final replay he was basically thrown into a bear-pit and told "good luck now".

There he was in front of a baying 80,000 crowd in Croke Park with the eyes of the nation and the global diaspora on him, and he armed only with a whistle.

It brought to mind that famous line in the fateful Blackadder finale when our acerbic hero tells Lieutenant George not to forget his swagger stick before they go over the top – "Rather Sir, I wouldn't want to face a machine-gun without this!"

There weren’t bullets flying around, but Deegan he did have to cope with a bellicose atmosphere self-consciously built up around two teams physically primed to take no prisoners. Keeping pace with the players these days is a task in itself. But it’s only a tiny part of the gig.

Not only is the ref expected to keep up, he is theoretically expected to be metronomic in his time-keeping while simultaneously making split-second decisions on the basis of a rulebook which no matter what anyone says doesn’t contain a workable definition of what a fair tackle actually is.

He is also presumed to be able to correctly shuffle those calls with a variously complicated deck of cards, process torrents of information in his earpiece about stuff he can’t see because he doesn’t have eyes in the back of his head, second-guess players determined to con him, while all the time barely able to hear himself think in an atmosphere where no matter if he turns himself inside out he can still only aim to please half the people half the time.

And the ref is doing this for fun, for a few paltry expenses, knowing full well his pedigree can become a national “talk to Joe” debate the following day and realising too how any number of pundits are aching to use him as the wall to hop their lucrative barbs off.

Rulebook

And on top of all that, we want consistency? Like it’s realistic for any rulebook to be uniformly interpreted by different people?

Do coaches, officials and players realise just how ridiculous they sound when they go on about “all we want”?

Some referees might think they’re God sometimes but it’s hardly surprising since everyone seems determined to attribute to them divine powers of equanimity and perception.

It’s plainly stupid that the only person in Croke Park without access to television pictures is the man in charge.

Lee Keegan’s black card has been widely deemed pivotal to the All-Ireland result. Maybe Deegan had a clear view of a clearly cynical foul but I doubt it.

Instead he had to make a major call in a blur of howling noise, a call everyone else had the luxury of looking at again and again, and even then to most neutrals it simply looked like more of the usual pawing that passes for tackling.

It is preposterous to put any individual in such an invidious position. That is so obvious it makes the question as to why the GAA does not properly address it even more obvious. Maybe howling indignation is part of the whole “who we are” bit. But when so much is being invested by so many, financially, but especially emotionally, it’s perverse not to try to be as precise as possible.

Hooter

It would be nothing to spare referees those onerous time-keeping responsibilities. Have someone in the stands armed with a working forefinger to press a timer’s on/off button and a hooter at the end.

The argument against this is apparently a fear of teams running the clock down. Dublin did a good impression of that in both finals, possibly proving even more how they’re ahead of the game. An independent timer might also put a halt to elaborate Jonny Wilkinson-like free kick routines which are increasingly eating into playing time.

And it is surely not beyond the GAA’s wit to use replay pictures constructively, build drama around them as in rugby, maybe even allow a restricted number of appeals by sideline teams like line-calls in tennis; actually embrace the potential which technology has opened up.

Most important of all, though, is the need to allow referees every opportunity to make the right calls, because at the moment it is caveman stuff.

Whatever happen there will never be perfect consistency.

Until the rule-enforcing algorithm capable of keeping pace with Brian Fenton is created we're still going to be stuck with the hopelessly subjective interpretative eye of referees.

No one can scratch themselves in top-flight rugby without it being picked up by a camera, but it hasn’t altered how the most important figure in any match remains the referee, and how each individual’s interpretation of the black and white rulebook differs. There’s no reason to believe it would be any different in Gaelic games.

The real “consistency” question should be about this consistent determination to not acknowledge that.