Hard to conceive it works

Having navigated the maze of assisted fertility Fiona McPhillips has compiled a guidebook on trying to conceive

WHEN FIONA McPhillips and her husband, John, decided to have their first baby it was all relatively straightforward. McPhillips quickly became pregnant and the couple's son James was born four years ago.

But when they wanted to have another child, things didn't happen so quickly. They went through rounds of tests, waiting, failed IVF cycles, fertility drugs and six heartbreaking miscarriages. Thankfully there was a happy outcome, and McPhillips is expecting a daughter next month.

And while many who navigate through the maze of assisted fertility probably feel they could write a book on it, McPhillips has actually followed through. The result is Trying to Conceive: The Irish Couple's Guide, which is launched in Dublin today.

The book covers the full spectrum, from fertile couples maximising their chances of conception by timing intercourse or charting ovulation cycles, to infertile couples undergoing tests and treatments.

And with one in six Irish couples experiencing fertility issues at some stage, it's a waiting audience.

The book is not about her own tortuous route through assisted fertility in Ireland, but she draws on a wealth of first-hand experience to help Irish couples learn about what is available to them.

"I have been through pretty much every single step of the way, which obviously wasn't ideal for us but it has helped a lot with the book," says McPhillips, who has previously charted her journey in an award-winning blog.

The first port of call for many couples who are taking longer than they expected to conceive is their GP, and McPhillips believes that if people are concerned enough to seek medical advice, their worries need to be addressed.

"A lot of GPs are very helpful but others seem to say that, unless you have been trying for a year, you should just go off and keep trying on your own. That is a really big problem, especially for younger couples going to their GP," she says. "If someone is desperate enough at six or eight months to contact their GP, they should be taken seriously, and I think there's no reason why those couples shouldn't be given help."

That help can include a series of minimally invasive blood and semen tests to check for ovulation and sperm quality. If the tests show no signs of a problem, the couple might be told they have "unexplained infertility" but again McPhillips notes that couples don't have to leave it there.

"A lot of people think that unexplained infertility means there's not a problem, that the couple just needs to go and relax or go on a holiday.

"But it is actually that the problem just hasn't been found yet, and whatever diagnosis they have gone through hasn't been strict enough or strong enough to find the problem," she says.

"It is a very frustrating thing for people, being told to go off and come back, but if you want to have further tests then ask to be referred to a fertility clinic. And if your GP won't do it then find another one."

But even then, couples should inform themselves about clinics in Ireland, and find one with an ethos that matches their own, according to McPhillips.

"You might assume that all clinics are the same in Ireland and you would get the same treatments but they are really not," she says.

"Some clinics are more likely to put you straight on the track to IVF whereas others are very reluctant to do that, and some of them are tied to the Catholic maternity hospitals and won't deal with certain things like donor eggs, or don't offer certain treatments.

"So you need to ask around and maybe call the clinic and find out what they do and whether it's going to be a suitable clinic for you."

Eight clinics around the State currently offer services for those couples who want to explore more invasive aspects of assisted fertility, but waiting lists can be lengthy, says McPhillips.

Then procedures such as IVF - where the sperm and egg are combined outside the womb and resulting embryos are then placed in the womb - require months of preparation and carry a hefty bill of about €5,000.

"The thoughts of shelling out thousands of euro for something that other people get free is pretty horrific, but a lot of people find the money somewhere. They sell their car or don't go on holiday or build that extension," says McPhillips, noting that some couples even travel abroad - often to Spain - to avail of donor eggs in IVF if needed.

But after all that, there's no guarantee of a baby, and the emotional impact of undergoing assisted fertility, whether fruitful or not, can be shattering, so McPhillips has listed various support groups, of both the online and face-to-face varieties, in the book.

"If you are going through a serious illness, people probably realise that you are sick and traumatised and it's emotionally hard. But you have those things going through fertility treatment too," she says.

She is obviously delighted that her own journey through the process is bringing her another child, but appreciates her situation is down to good fortune as well as science.

"I'm not pregnant because I know lots about fertility," she says. "I'm just lucky."

• Trying To Conceive: The Irish Couple's Guideby Fiona McPhillips is published by Liffey Press and is available at major book shops price at € 16.99.

See  www.makingbabies.ie

Assisted fertility: the lingo
Assisted fertility and internet-support forums are replete with technical terms and commonly used acronyms, including:
TTC- Trying to conceive
DPO- Days past ovulation
AF- Aunt Flo (a period)
2WW- Two-week wait between ovulation and the start-date of a period (AF) if there is no pregnancy
IUI- Intra-uterine insemination, where sperm is placed in the womb through a catheter
IVF- In vitro fertilisation, where eggs are fertilised by sperm outside the womb and resulting embryos are implanted into the womb
Donor eggs- eggs donated by someone other than the female partner in the couple, to be used in IVF