Acting would always be my path to freedom

As a schoolgirl, Deirdre O'Kane always wanted to be an actress and didn't need any encouragement

We lived in Drogheda, so it was 10 miles on a bus to the Loreto in Balbriggan. We loved the long bus journey. It was good crack, full of kids, so it was a bit wild. There were three of us, me and my two older sisters. Half the bus would have been filled with school kids. I think my mother had a thing about the Loreto nuns. She thought they were very good and that was the reason we went.

I remember being fascinated by other kids in the room and I remember this nun talking about a big black stick that she would use if we were bold, which, I'm glad to say, I don't ever remember her using. I'm sure I was plenty bold, but I think she was kind and it was more of a threat than anything.

The best thing for me was having a drama teacher in primary school. I was doing plays straight away. We did a play nearly every year. I used to get the costumes for every single child in the play. I just had this idea about how things should be done and I used to have a thing about the look of it. If somebody came in wearing something, I'd say "that's not good enough, I've a better one at home". I would rob my father's and mother's clothes out of the wardrobe. The drama teacher, Miss Harrigan, used to constantly ask me if it was okay and did my mother know I had all these things. "Absolutely," I'd say, "no problem." My mother hadn't a notion - she didn't know where half the stuff had gone.

I ended up as a boarder in secondary in Loreto Abbey, Rathfarnham, Co Dublin. It was the parents' plan and I never questioned it. My father had been to boarding school and I think back then people just thought they were very good schools. I just took it in my stride. I wasn't keen to go, and yet I wasn't not keen. I suppose I'd heard my two sisters talking about it and I was used to them coming and going and not being particularly excited about it, so I wasn't getting the impression that I was going off to have a ball from them - although they didn't put me off it either.

I didn't know anyone. There was no carry-over from primary school. The girls were from all over the country and there were very few Dublin girls. I'd say I was settled in by day two. I was still interested in drama. I did my first show when I was in first year - my older sister, Liz, was in sixth year and she was one of the leads. My Fair Lady was the show. The school was heavily involved in music and drama. We had this amazing nun, sister Philippa O'Sullivan. She was a genius musician and she was hugely into the choir - I was one of the leaders of the choir. We used to win all these big competitions. It was a huge part of the school. The choir sang incredibly for Mass on Sundays and we rehearsed on Saturdays for half a morning.

Sister Philippa had a huge involve-

ment. She was the music director on the shows. We also had a drama teacher, Anne Kavanagh, and she was a superb, so that was a lucky stroke for me. If you were into sport, I don't think our school was the one to be in.

I wanted to be an actress for as long as I could remember, but it wasn't encouraged in school at all. I remember by the time I got to fifth year I was quite serious about it, but it was never taken seriously. I'd go to the career guidance teacher, who'd say: "Right, why don't you do a little nursing course, so you've something to fall back on." It was certainly dismissed. Except for one teacher in sixth year, Mrs Kennelly. She taught French and career guidance and I really passed my French because of her, but, more importantly, I went to her for career guidance and I told her I wanted to act and straight away she said, "Okay, I'll find out what courses you can do." The drama degree had just started in Trinity and she got all the information about that. There were no drama schools at the time. I did end up applying for that though I didn't get it. I got the interview, but I didn't get the points.

I was never into academics. I always knew I wanted to be an actress and I thought maths would be useless for me. I did very well at English and history, art and music, and I did very badly at maths and biology. I remember doing phenomenally badly at my mock Leaving Cert and the head nun taking me to the office and saying, "You know you could fail your Leaving Cert" and I remember thinking she was absolutely mad in the head and there was no way I was going to fail and I ended up calming her down.

When I was in sixth year, I did a musical from September to Christmas. After that I was so desperate to get out into the world that I remember finding Christmas to June interminable. I thought it would never be over. I just outgrew it I think - it was just time to go. I'm glad I didn't feel that way earlier, I would have been miserable, but I've always been a slow learner, a late developer.

In an interview with Olivia Kelly