My divorce: ‘I won't marry again, ever’

Joanne: “A year ago I finally put my foot down, consulted a solicitor and issued him with a solicitor’s letter declaring that I want a legal separation.”

Joanne: “A year ago I finally put my foot down, consulted a solicitor and issued him with a solicitor’s letter declaring that I want a legal separation.”

 

It’s 20 years since Ireland voted for divorce. An Irish Times series, Divorced Ireland, explores the effects of that vote on Irish life, then and since. To read the full series click here

Joanne is separated but living under the same roof as her soon to be ex-husband. She’s a mother-of-two with a busy career.

“Three separate courses of marriage counselling didn’t save our marriage, even though I gave it all I had. I’ve been trying to get out of the marriage for four years and I haven’t been able to. He believes marriage is for life and says it’s his house and they’re his children, and he won’t leave.

No rows

“A year ago I finally put my foot down, consulted a solicitor and issued him with a solicitor’s letter declaring that I want a legal separation. He agreed to mediation, but he still refused to leave the marital bedroom, much less sell the house. I sleep in a spare bedroom and I hope, with his eventual legal agreement, to sell the house and go our separate ways.

‘I won’t marry again’

“We rarely argue, and when we do, never in front of the children. When I told them about the impending legal separation they weren’t overly shocked. My son has been upset, but now he wants a resolution.

“After three more years of legal separation, we will qualify for divorce but for me divorce is unnecessary. I won’t marry again, ever.”

In conversation with Kate Holmquist. Joanne’s name has been changed

The Irish Times Logo
Commenting on The Irish Times has changed. To comment you must now be an Irish Times subscriber.
SUBSCRIBE
GO BACK
Error Image
The account details entered are not currently associated with an Irish Times subscription. Please subscribe to sign in to comment.
Comment Sign In

Forgot password?
The Irish Times Logo
Thank you
You should receive instructions for resetting your password. When you have reset your password, you can Sign In.
The Irish Times Logo
Please choose a screen name. This name will appear beside any comments you post. Your screen name should follow the standards set out in our community standards.
Screen Name Selection

Hello

Please choose a screen name. This name will appear beside any comments you post. Your screen name should follow the standards set out in our community standards.

The Irish Times Logo
Commenting on The Irish Times has changed. To comment you must now be an Irish Times subscriber.
SUBSCRIBE
Forgot Password
Please enter your email address so we can send you a link to reset your password.

Sign In

Your Comments
We reserve the right to remove any content at any time from this Community, including without limitation if it violates the Community Standards. We ask that you report content that you in good faith believe violates the above rules by clicking the Flag link next to the offending comment or by filling out this form. New comments are only accepted for 3 days from the date of publication.