I am married, unfulfilled and cannot stop thinking about a fling I had 12 years ago

Ask Roe: My husband and I hardly have a sex life and I still frequently think of my Irishman from all those years ago

‘Just as you’re doing yourself a disservice by locating all your life’s potential for passion and fulfilment in a long-lost fling, you’re doing your husband a huge disservice by comparing your decade-long relationship to a relationship that never hit the six-month mark.’ Photograph: iStock

‘Just as you’re doing yourself a disservice by locating all your life’s potential for passion and fulfilment in a long-lost fling, you’re doing your husband a huge disservice by comparing your decade-long relationship to a relationship that never hit the six-month mark.’ Photograph: iStock

Dear Roe,

Twelve years ago, I had a five-month relationship with an Irish guy. We were both travelling in Australia and he pursued me. When we did get together, I fell for him hard. The relationship, though short, was fun, passionate and I felt totally in love. When it came to us both moving on with our travels I asked him how we could make things work back home (he in Ireland and me in the UK). He said it wouldn’t work. I was heartbroken for a while but quite quickly met someone new back home on the rebound.

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