Right about now, there are parents across the country wondering if they’re making the right decision. Considering what life will look like in six months’ time, trying to predict their child’s maturity, and fearful of condemning their children to a lifetime of regrets and ponderings about how differently things could have turned out, if only their parents had made the correct call.
Yes, it’s officially “should I wait another year” time for parents of children due to start primary school in September.
The annual “is four or five the correct age to start school?” season is upon us, and some well-intended person somewhere is going to suggest that it “depends on the child”, as if nothing else really matters. But, gentle reader, I am here to tell you it is far from that simple.
All is changed, changed utterly – or at least there’s a few other things to consider these days. And the age of their potential classmates should factor highly.
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Thanks in large part to the second free year of the Early Childhood Care and Education scheme (ECCE), children are now typically older whenstarting primary school, with just 17 per cent aged four or under. Maturity matters, as does general readiness, while perceived academic ability (and even height, one parent told me) can influence when a parent feels a child should start school.
But irrespective of all of this, the one thing you cannot do is make your child older than they are. Meaning that if your child is on the younger side, September 2026 shouldn’t be the only consideration; September 2036 needs to matter just as much. And here’s why.
1. Allow me to be your guinea pig, if you will. With a socially unacceptable number of children, one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned, so far, is that those pesky kids grow up, no matter how much you may try to resist it.
[ I have a socially unacceptable number of children – and I love itOpens in new window ]
And as you gaze upon your adorable, tiny junior infant in their oversized uniform, schoolbag almost as big as the child, it’s hard to imagine that one day they’ll be a giant-pain-in-the-backside teenager, ready to argue with you that black is white, and remind you that you are, in fact, the worst parent in the world. It’s a rite of passage for us parents, lest we lose the run of ourselves and think we’re mastering this whole parenting thing. So why potentially inflict this upon yourself even more than necessary?
For the parents of the youngest children in the class (and I have been she) with sometimes a gap of a year and a half between eldest and youngest student, you can find yourself suddenly having to make difficult decisions. Do you allow your child to do things at a younger age than you anticipated, such as going to parties where alcohol may feature, or become the parent who always says no? Neither is an attractive option. But it didn’t seem to matter so much when they were four …
2. Childcare remains one of the most expensive and challenging aspects of contemporary parenthood. So, you can see why starting school at a younger age may hold some appeal for parents desperate to ease some of the financial burden they’re experiencing. Fewer hours in childcare means lower costs.
[ As raising a child tops €15,000 annually parents need a long-term financial planOpens in new window ]
But school holidays require a different type of juggle for working parents, often involving expensive summer camps that were never designed to be childcare – so all is not necessarily as it seems. And savings may not be quite as substantial as hoped.
3. Kids largely like to blend in with their friends and classmates, and never is this more true than during adolescence and puberty. It can be a time of huge sensitivity and comparison, watching peers grow and change and waiting to be part of it.
And while there’s clearly no exact age at which obvious physical changes happen, being younger than their peers can mean a child can be at an obviously different stage of development, at a stage of life they crave being the same.
4. Childhood is short, and growing ever shorter. There are just a few years where magic rules, memories are made and a lifetime of Christmas and other traditions unfold.
In a world that can feel grim and scary for adults, who doesn’t want to prolong the magic for as long as possible? Well, “possible” is a lot shorter if their classmates are older than they are.
5. And finally – and a stretch, I know – with a later start, there’s an ever so slightly higher chance the housing crisis might have been resolved by the time they’re finished their formal education.
We can but hope.
