“You couldn’t make it up,” said the nation as one after those goals. And it’s not like the scorers have been hugely prolific for, cough, their country – Declan Rice and Jack Grealish had made 94 appearances combined for England before Saturday and only managed a grand total of five goals between them. So, yes, the gods were having a laugh.
It’s the hope, of course, that kills you. Those opening 10 minutes from Ireland had been bright enough, and Jayson Molumby really should have scored with that free header from Robbie Brady’s corner. Sammie Szmodics came close-ish too, forcing Jordan Pickford into a decent save.
But the Trent Alexander-Arnold/Anthony Gordon combination was only beginning to warm up, the right back – given far too much space and time – pulling on his quarter-back cap to repeatedly pick out the winger with other-worldly diagonals and through-balls from the back. And Séamus Coleman severely struggled to cope with the pace and trickery of his one-time Everton comrade once he was picked out and made his way behind the Irish defence.
And it was that combination that created the opening for England’s first goal, Alexander-Arnold putting Gordon through on goal with yet another beaut of a pass. Caoimhín Kelleher did well to save his effort, but after Kane’s attempt was blocked by Nathan Collins from Gordon’s subsequent cross, it fell to Rice who swept the ball home with a very fine finish. He chose not to celebrate, so there’s still a place in his heart for Ireland.
Shamrock Rovers ‘bang in’ Premier Division title race after win over faltering Shelbourne
Athlone Town’s win over Bohemians sees them wrap up title with one game still to play
Erik ten Hag insists he still has backing of Manchester United owners
Danny Welbeck caps dramatic Brighton comeback as Tottenham fall apart
The killer, though, was that second goal. What’s it they say? It effectively ended the game as a contest.
And crikey, the quality of the move that led up to it. A string of first-time passes: Rice to Kobbie Mainoo, Mainoo to Rice, Rice to Bukayo Saka, Saka to Rice, Rice to Grealish, goal. Poetry.
And it was perfectly fine that Grealish celebrated. You would too if you had the bejaysus booed out of your every touch until then. You’d imagine that whoever brought that “The snakes are back” banner, emblazoned with Rice and Grealish’s faces, sheepishly stuffed it in to their back pocket on 26 minutes.
The gulf in class? Vast. Trust Rice and Grealish to confirm it.
- Sign up for push alerts and have the best news, analysis and comment delivered directly to your phone
- Join The Irish Times on WhatsApp and stay up to date
- Listen to our Inside Politics podcast for the best political chat and analysis