Planet Football

Marriage made in Coventry

Coventry City chairman Mike McGinnity has been under fire from fans for sacking Eric Black, the man he described as a Messiah three weeks ago, and replacing him with Peter Reid. Asked to explain this dramatic change of opinion McGinnity said: "Last night I told my wife I loved her, but I don't this morning. Everyone is entitled to change their mind." If Mrs McGinnity had any sense she'd elope with Eric Black.

Ceefax in a hurry

"Anyone who went home early would have missed a wonder goal," said Martin O'Neill, in his BBC interview, of Chris Sutton's last-minute winner for Celtic against Rangers on Saturday. Looks to us like Ceefax left Parkhead early.

Ginola way out of position

Since he announced last year that he intended becoming an actor we've been waiting patiently for David Ginola to burst onto our screens, but, despite his telling us, "I am going through a number of scripts at the moment", we're still waiting.

Finally, there appears to be some good news. Squillion Films say they will be approaching, amongst others, Ginola and Ronan Keating to star in Perfect Match, a romantic comedy about a love-struck French footballer. Keating, presumably, will play the French footballer; we're not sure yet what role Ginola will fill.

One problem, though - we're certain Daveeed would have liked an exotic location for his major acting debut. Perfect Match will, alas, be set in . . . Doncaster.

Quotes of the week

"It's a cautionary tale for other clubs out there. Leeds killed the goose that lays the golden egg, and they've ended up with a dead chicken."

- Wilf McGuinness, as spotted by Football 365, offering a unique analysis of Leeds's demise.

"There must be no-one left in the town of Carrick-on-Suir, half of them are here."

- Tipp FM's Ronan Quirke, during his commentary on the Munster Junior Cup final between Clonmel Town and Carrick United.

"Things are not bad, they're beyond belief."

- East Stirling supporters' chairman Ian Ramsay - on Saturday they were one minute away from ending a bit of a losing run, when Craig Smart scored the winner for Montrose . . . East Stirling's 25th successive defeat.

"Beckham won't be coming back to United. I just think he has moved on and so has the club."

- Manchester United chief executive David Gill, defining dropping from first to third in 12 months as "moving on". Right.

"Even at twice his current speed he'd still be twice as slow as slow itself."

- Italian newspaper La Repubblica's tribute to Colonel Gadaffi's lad, Saadi, who made his debut for Perugia last week.

Stomach for the challenge

After their UEFA Cup exit last week and their struggle to nail a Champions League qualifying place it looks to us like Newcastle fans have had their, eh, bellyful this season.

X-rated tackles all round

"It was the most incredible, awful thing I've ever seen," said an official of Norwegian football club Sogndal last week. To what was he referring? Well, according to uefa.com, the club had asked rivals Stabaek for a video of their match from last month. Stabaek obliged and popped it in the post. On pressing "play" Sogndal found themselves watching a pornographic film, on a tape marked Stabaek 3, Sogndal 1. Sogndal complained - yep, they did - but Stabaek put it down to a "technical error".

Soon after Tromso asked Stabaek for a video of their match, and allegedly were a bit gutted when the tape featured a football match. "They have enough of that stuff up there in Tromso," noted Stabaek assistant coach Knut Torum.

Ranieri's week in quotes

"Hello my sharks, welcome to the funeral."

- Meeting the press before the Monaco game.

"I must say thank you to the media because you do a great job now. Before you kill me! That crazy man! I give you a good espresso. A small one. I am Scottish man!"

- Speaking a language with which we are wholly unfamiliar.

"Of course, I'd like to still be part of building the first floor here. The foundations and the ground floor are already in place. Now it is important to build the first floor and I hope to stay with this architect!"

- Hoping that Jose Mourinho's construction firm won't be called in to finish the job.

"In Spain I achieved the fourth position, in Italy the third, and never the second, so slowly, slowly I getting better!"

- But too slowly for Roman Abramovich, it would seem.

"People might think I am dead but I am still strong and I am still fighting. I am not stupid. When people write all season that I will be going, I have to think 'Claudio, you are dead'."

- Alive and kicking. Just.

Adams has last hee-haw

Should he follow in his father's footsteps and end up becoming a professional footballer we're looking forward to hearing supporters sing: "there's only one Atticus William McNaughton Adams."

It might, though, be a while yet before young Atticus makes his first-team debut - he was only born in February. His parents? Tony Adams (admired for the manner in which he has battled his alcoholism) and Poppy Teacher (admired for being an heiress to the Teacher whiskey empire).

Curiously, for a man taunted with cries of "hee-haw" for much of his career, Adams opted to name his son after Atticus the Storyteller, who travelled around Greece on a donkey.

Primate of all England

When Peter Reid was manager of Sunderland, and whenever Newcastle were the opposition, he, Reid, used to be serenaded by opposing supporters with a tune that alleged he looked like a monkey.

Having joined Coventry he might have hoped to have put his monkey days behind him, but then he opened the Coventry Evening Telegraph and spotted this picture, with the caption: "If you pay peanuts . . ." Delightful.

More quotes of the week

"I feel he has replaced Princess Diana. They would have been perfect for each other if death hadn't intervened."

- Guardian columnist Will Buckley on England's new rose, David Beckham.

"I can tell Celtic fans he has one of the nicest arses in football - I should know because I spent all day chasing it around the park."

- Darren Jackson (ex-Scotland) on his memories of Rivaldo's rear end (in the opening game of the 1998 World Cup).

"Next season the fans will see the real Kleberson."

- But Kleberson, that's what worries Manchester United fans.