How agreeable are you?
I like to think I’m agreeable, but that doesn’t mean I don’t ever draw lines in the sand. I do when I think it’s important and it’s something I really believe in, but I always consider active listening.
What’s your middle name and what do you think of it?
My middle name is Benjamin. I’m named after my grandfather, who I never actually met. He was always something of a mythological figure in my household because he was detained in a Japanese prison of war camp in Taiwan for a lot of the second World War. There was actually a long period from my mid-teens to my mid-20s when I considered changing my name or just being known as Benjamin in a nom de guerre way. These days, I’m happier to have it in my inside pocket for parties and passport control.
Where is your favourite place in Ireland?
Where I live, which is right beside the Three Rock mountains [Dublin]. Recently, I was in Nagasaki, and as I was heading up to one of the viewpoints, a voice-over consistently reminded me that it was one of the most spectacular city views in the world. The whole time I was thinking I actually prefer the view of Dublin from Three Rock.
Describe yourself in three words.
I’d say very creative, passionate and meticulous, but not always in that order.
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When did you last get angry?
I tend not to get angry that much in my day-to-day life. A lot of my anger is kind of a more general existential anger that we all feel at the state of the world and its injustices.
What have you lost that you would like to have back?
Where I have felt most in balance would have been through periods of my life when I’ve been running about 10K a few times a week. I’ve had a particularly busy six months, and I’ve felt the absence of it in a way that has surprised me.
What’s your strongest childhood memory?
We had a cottage that was perched, literally, on the edge of a cliff, in Crosshaven, Co Cork, where we used to spend weeks during summer school holidays clambering on rocks and exploring fields. My mother would laugh at me saying this because at the time, I’m sure I complained about it every minute. In terms of nostalgia, however, I probably think about it several times a week.
Where do you come in your family’s birth order and has this defined you?
I have one brother, who is seven years older than me, and in my life, he has been a presence I’ve valued, someone I’ve greatly looked up to and admired. A lot of people have said that within 10 minutes of being with us, they knew we were brothers. The funny thing is, I’m adopted, and so I think that tells you all you need to know about our relationship.
What do you expect to happen when you die?
I don’t understand anything about the science of near-death experiences or theories that are emerging about when your brain is in the process of dying, it enters this mode where it plays back your life to you. Whenever I think about it, it’s the closest I’ve come to feeling any sort of comfort. Anything after that is above my pay grade.
When were you happiest?
What I would have considered happy when I was 20 is very different to me at the age of 38. I now consider happiness much more as a communal experience than an individual one.
Which actor would play you in a biopic about your life?
When I was younger, way back, some people remarked that I had a slight resemblance to Cillian Murphy, but I think he’s aged a lot better than I have. Also, his stock has risen considerably since those comments were made, so it’s maybe a bit of an ask these days. That said, the last biopic he did worked well for him.
What is your biggest career/personal regret?
A few years ago, Marty Whelan convinced me to sing along to Frank Sinatra’s New York, New York, live on his radio show. This was quite early in the morning, before my vocal chords were properly warmed up, and my regret is not picking an easier song.
Have you any psychological quirks?
One of my main ones would be hyper-fixation. A few years ago, after visiting a friend’s house and seeing they had a lovely chihuahua, I was like, I need a chihuahua! A week later, I could have written a thesis on the history of humankind’s relationships with chihuahuas. I still haven’t got one, but I know a lot about them.
In conversation with Tony Clayton-Lea
