Hard to believe and understandably unexpected, but Leaders’ Questions certainly had the wow factor on Tuesday.
Although that might be overselling it a bit. It wasn’t that great.
The Sinn Féin leader is in a constant state of incredulity these days. It’s all Micheál Martin’s fault.
Sometimes, Mary Lou McFlummoxed just can’t find the words to adequately express her astonishment at the disagreeable quality and tone of Micheál’s replies during the Dáil’s daily set-piece.
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He is a terrible disappointment to her.
That disappointment continued on Tuesday.
The Taoiseach would have known he was returning to the chamber to face a well-deserved Opposition hiding for his government’s strikingly inept handling of a review into the allocation of the special needs assistants (SNAs) programme in schools.
This well-intentioned but poorly planned and communicated exercise provoked nationwide ructions from schools and parents suddenly informed they would be losing their indispensable SNAs in September, while leaving unhappy Coalition TDs under siege from angry constituents.
The furious fightback led to a hasty backtrack.
A late-night crisis meeting in Government Buildings on the eve of the new Dáil week reached the obvious decision to ditch the reduce-and-redeploy plan.
Coalition leaders found an extra €19 million down the back of a saggy staffroom sofa to cover the cost of the climbdown – and cover their embarrassment.
And Micheál was able to return to the chamber after the weekend break without having to defend what, by this stage, had become the indefensible.
Would this U-turn mollify the benches opposite?
Not a hope. They love nothing better than a good U-turn.
Opposition leaders tore strips off the Taoiseach (while extending a tepid welcome for the late announcement that the SNA cuts will not happen in September).
While the Government was having its SNA meeting, Mary Lou McDonald was at a SNA protest meeting. She couldn’t wait to tell Micheál about it.
A thousand people were in attendance, “all calling out Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael for your cruel treatment of children”, she told him.
“One mother speaking though her tears, said, ‘How dare the Government’.”
She said the people at the meeting – it was online – believed the announcement of no cuts next year was just a case of kicking the can down the road in what was a “cynical bean-counting exercise”.
The Taoiseach thought the charge of cynicism was rich, coming from the Sinn Féin leader.
“You personify cynicism,” he retorted, citing her approach to policies and issues, which was neither considered nor substantive.
She called for “a new departure”.
He laid out his bottom-line figures showing the yearly increases in the number of special needs assistants working in schools and set out the points he would repeat again and again during a session dominated by the SNA controversy.
For the first time, but not the last, he stressed that no jobs had been lost and no jobs would be lost as investment in special education rose in an effort to meet the “significant increase” in children and young people identifying with a disability.
He said reviews must be carried out as needs and circumstances changed.
Mary Lou was deeply unimpressed by his response. Indeed, she would go as far as to say he was “gaslighting” parents and SNAs.
Micheál groaned. “Aah, stop.”
But she wouldn’t, because people “can’t live on a wing and a prayer” from year to year, hoping that SNAs aren’t taken from them while knowing that Government clearly just tried to move them out of their jobs.
“That’s what you attempted to do. Parents and SNAs have fought back and they are telling you now, very very clearly, that there needs to be a new departure.”
There was that phrase again.
“A new departure.”
What does that even mean?
“You’ve just articulated an empty soundbite,” the Taoiseach said. “What do you mean?”
The Sinn Féin TDs were gobsmacked. Did he not hear what their leader just told him?
“I’m none the wiser,” Micheál shrugged.
They roared at him from across the floor.
“If you listened you might …”
Nope. He had listened to her call for a new departure.
“There’s nothing to what you’re saying, basically.”
You’re not in the Gaiety School of Acting now
— Micheál Martin to Mary Lou McDonald
Micheál has been around the political block a fair few times and he could tell that Mary Lou was just chancing her arm and having a go.
“That’s what the Opposition tends to do,” he informed her patronisingly.
She was gobsmacked.
“Wow” she exclaimed.
“Wow.”
It was like that moment in Dublin Castle in May 2011 when the late queen Elizabeth II spoke a few words of Irish, and the then president, Mary McAleese, looked up to the heavens and mouthed “Wow”.
Micheál said he was open to discussions on the role of a SNA, but “it can’t be forever debated in empty soundbites”.
This was too much for Mary Lou.
“Wow,” she went, again. “You’re arrogant.”
“Don’t mind your wows,” the Taoiseach snapped. “The child comes first all the time. You’re not in the Gaiety School of Acting now.”
“Arrogant man,” Dumbfounded of Dublin Central fumed. “You’re one arrogant man.”
The protests will be continuing.
