It’s a springtime farming special this week.
The Oireachtas Joint Committee on Agriculture and Food treated us to a brace of highly entertaining meetings for two days on the trot while the horny-handed sons and daughters of Sinn Féin turned on the theatrics for a public gallery packed with 200 farmers during Wednesday night’s Dáil debate on their motion calling for the removal of Bord Bia chairman Larry Murrin.
No offence to Chairman Murrin, but people who tuned in on Thursday for the agriculture committee’s much-anticipated showdown with him would be forgiven for wondering why U2’s Larry Mullen was before the committee as contributors kept mixing up their surnames.
(Mind you, during the media committee’s meeting on Wednesday, some of the politicians were having similar problems with Grok, Elon Musk’s AI chatbot. Senator Garret Ahearn spent most of his time talking about “Gronk”.)
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When the dust settled after that robust ag committee encounter, the word in Leinster House on Thursday evening was that Larry, the drummer-up of business for Irish food, had played a blinder in the face of tough questioning from angry TDs and Senators about his meat processing company importing some Brazilian beef.
“They never laid a glove on him,” said one Government TD. “Even our ones who were calling for his head were impressed. Except for Willie Aird, obviously.”
Willie is a Fine Gael backbench TD and farmer from Laois. Along with many of his farming colleagues in the Dáil, he had a rip-roaring time over the two days that the House sat this week.
A day was lost because of the bank holiday weekend. Instead of the usual Tuesday start, business didn’t resume until Wednesday.
Because they’re worth it.
The Bodyke inquisition
There was one standout moment from that committee meeting convened to grill the head of Bord Bia. (They really should have met in the canteen.)
And that was the discovery of the inquisitorial wonder that is Joe Cooney, the Fine Gael TD for Clare.
Committee room 2 was rendered speechless by the forensic brilliance of Deputy Cooney, a stalwart of Leinster House’s powerful agricultural rump. Onlookers marvelled as Joe’s rapier-like inquisitorial skills left the polished Dawn Farms boss and Bord Bia chair Larry Murrin/Mullen in no doubt that he had met his match.
The deputy from Bodyke opened up a number of lines of inquiry with the meat magnate, who was explaining why 1 per cent of the beef his company supplies on an industrial scale to businesses is imported from Brazil for contingency purposes.
Joe stuck rigidly to his script, sorry, brief. He read out the words very carefully.
“I’ve been speaking to farmers in Clare and the midwest region who are absolutely fuming every day. They have to jump through hoops to comply with Bord Bia certificate standards. But from their perspective it looks like the same rules don’t apply to you ...” he thundered at Larry.
“What they’re saying to me is they’re clearly seeing this as a case of ‘do I, do I as I say, do not as I do’.”
He immediately followed this crushing line with his closing clincher.
“So really, what they are saying is: ‘Do I say, do I say, do as I do.’”
Joe paused to let the enormity of this sink in, looking over his glasses gravely at the gobsmacked Murrin/Mullen.
“So,” he said, with the barest hint of triumph in his voice. Then, having delivered the knockout blow, he leaned back and waited for the cooked meats king to crumble.
“Would ya answer that one?”
The businessman did his best to recover.
“Eh ... Let me explain it this way.”
It should be Joe Cooney SC instead of Joe Cooney TD.
Still, the Law Library’s loss is Leinster House’s gain.
Reaching peak cap
On Wednesday, the agriculture and food committee sat down with Minister of State Michael Healy-Rae for a serious but collegiate chat about the forestry sector.
This led to the now-familiar routine of his brother Danny asking him hard questions, because that is what he must do when he has a Minister from the Government before him. But he finds it hard to keep a straight face while doing this and is never quite able to suppress a knowing smile when addressing the brother.
He knows that they know that everyone else knows they are always on the same hymn sheet, but the process must be followed.
They had a good exchange about the need for adequate fencing to keep deer within forests so they can’t roam on farmland where they can spread TB. Danny said farmers aren’t allowed to follow them into forests and then they come out at night when nobody is looking.
He pointed out that in Europe now, sika deer are seen as an invasive species. “In other words they are the very same as rats” and they have to be culled because they interfere with good farming practices.
He got no argument from Michael.
Willie Aird wasn’t really paying that much attention to their exchange. He was more interested in Michael’s trademark cap. Just before Danny spoke, he felt compelled to interrupt proceedings on a matter of supreme importance.
He spoke urgently to the chairman, Fianna Fáil’s Aindrias Moynihan from Cork North-West.
“Cathaoirleach, can we get something wrote into the transcript or into the record of this meeting today?” he cried. “I’m just asking that. Can we get something wrote into it?”
Aindrias was perplexed. “No ... eh ... no ...”
Willie pressed on.
“Because there’s history, there’s history being made here today while we speak because this is the first time I’d say it ever happened – when we have the Minister wearing a cap and we have Senator Brady wearing a cap.”
He looked across at Minister Healy-Rae.
“So you now have opposition!”
The Senator in question was Paraic Brady of Fine Gael. He is a farmer and a former Longford intercounty football player.
Willie continued to plead with the chair.
“So I just want to make that point to ya: will you write it in. Please. All right? It’s history, it’s history, being made.”
“It’s on the record forever,” soothed Aindrias.
Danny thought this was hilarious. “Maybe the fella who’s selling you the caps might sell a few more,” he chortled.
“You could do with one yourself,” bristled Michael from beneath his cap.
“I didn’t say I didn’t,” retorted the brother, smoothing his hand across his remaining hair. “But I’ve more than you anyway.”
Paraic Brady, sheltering under a tan-coloured flat cap as opposed to the classic MHR black, waited until his turn came to speak before replying.
“Thanks, Minister,” he drawled, staring across at Healy-Rae. “When the cap fits, as they say, you’ve got to wear it and I suppose that’s why I wear it, maybe. Maybe it fits sometimes a little bit better on some people more than others, but anyway ...”
Thanks for clearing that one up, Paraic.
He wore the cap again to Thursday’s agriculture and food committee meeting. Some of his colleagues tell us that they never saw him wearing a cap at meetings before.
We see media Minister Patrick O’Donovan was wearing one on his trip to Paris this week.
Maybe Fine Gael has a new dress code.
Peaky Blueshirts?
Packing them in
It’s a wonder Thursday’s showdown with the Bord Bia boss ever started at all.
Before the meeting got under way, representatives of a number of farming organisations sought access to the public gallery, which isn’t huge.
There was what one onlooker describes as “a significant squabble” between the groups when there were not enough seats to accommodate everyone. They included the IFA (Irish Farmers’ Association), the ICMSA (Irish Creamery Milk Suppliers Association), the INHFA (Irish Natura and Hill Farmers Association) and the ICSA (Irish Cattle and Sheep Farmers’ Association).
It was a case of silage bags at dawn as the different associations tried to secure Leinster House land rights. Eventually, 15 of them were herded into an overflow room by ushers. There was no need for ashplants as they went quietly in the end.
They could have tipped across to committee room 3 where Sineád McPhillips, the new general secretary of the Department of Agriculture, was having her first big day out in front of the Public Accounts Committee.
She was accompanied by her full team of assistant sec gens and they were questioned for hours on her department’s €3.3 billion budget by the PAC members, under the chairmanship of Sinn Féin’s John Brady.
Interestingly enough, there was no big presence from the farming leaders at this significant meeting concerning agriculture, food and the marine, where Dáil members could question the general secretary over expenditure and how the department is run. The public gallery remained deserted. Everyone was over at the Larry Murrin show.
Googling Gortatlea
The exchanges were rather less heated at the What’s the Beef about Larry committee on Thursday at lunchtime than they were the night before in the Dáil at Sinn Féin’s debate on ditching the Bord Bia chairman.
Martin Heydon, the Minister for Agriculture, refused to give an inch in the face of the party’s demand for Murrin’s head on a plate. He stood firmly behind the Bord Bia chairman and, as farmers’ representatives continue to protest at Bord Bia headquarters, he continues to stand by him.
Heydon put up a strong defence of Murrin, much to the irritation of Sinn Féin TDs across the floor. “At the centre of this issue is a contract between an Irish food company, which employs thousands of people here, and a major international client,” he said, accusing the party of calling for the chairman’s head without first seeking a briefing from him on the matter.
“With Sinn Féin it’s sack first and ask questions later,” said the Minister, adding he believed their Dáil motion sent a “clear message to the chair of every other State board in the country” as to how they operate.
Perhaps his refusal to budge was one of the reasons they got stuck into his Minister of State, Michael Healy-Rae.
“You sold out a long time ago, Healy-Rae. You will not be standing in any markets much longer. You sold out the farmers a long time ago,” Pearse Doherty told him.
“Don’t point your finger at me!” fumed MHR.
“I don’t see you standing with them outside Bord Bia. You sold out,” accused Pearse, looking up at the farmers’ representatives in the public gallery.
The Junior Minister’s contribution descended into a rancorous shouting match as Sinn Féin accused him of selling out and he warned the IFA not to hitch its wagon to the SF star.
As always, Kerry came to the fore, with MHR reserving special mention for his Sinn Féin counterpart in the Kingdom, Pa Daly, a solicitor.
“I heard him talking with authority about Kerry IFA. Well, I can tell you one thing, he would have to put Gortatlea mart into Google Maps to find his way there because I never met him there. I never met him at an IFA meeting going back over three decades – 30 years of going to IFA meetings in Kerry and then he goes lecturing here tonight.”
