Our current childcare situation places working parents - and women in particular - under great stress. Research shows that women in full-time jobs are still responsible for 75 per cent of household chores. According to Purcell, it is women, rather than men, who think about and plan for their children's needs - who needs to visit the dentist, who needs new shoes and the like. Fathers have an important role to play. According to Purcell, it is better that both partners work 30 hours each per week and co-parent than having one parent work 50 hours per week while the other has parenting responsibility. However, if men are to play a full role in parenting, it's vital that they are allowed their own parenting styles, rather than being forced to adopt those of their partners.

"When I talked to couples expecting their first child, I found that although men were anticipating changes in family life, they did not consider that they would have to make changes in the workplace. Their partners, though, were wondering how they'd cope and some had already arranged creches and childminders. It's disconcerting to see that childcare is still the woman's burden." If anything has to give in order the keep the family show on the road, it's usually the woman's career. Many women soldier on until they have their third child, then life becomes impossible and they give up their jobs. These days, the lot of many parents is an uneviable one. There's the daily rush, at early hours through appalling traffic, to drop children at schools, childminders and creches - and collect them in the evening. There's the hard, competitive edge of the workplace and then the return home, exhausted, to parent young children who have spent up to 12 hours with strangers. Hardly surprising that many parents are stressed out and feel unable to cope.

Purcell argues that both parents have a right to work - but that the needs of children should be placed centre stage. This doesn't mean that the woman should stay at home, she stresses. Rather, the Government and employers should work to introduce family-friendly workplaces. "Frequently, childcare concerns run aground on the issue of whether or not women should work outside the home. Surely it is possible for people to pursue fulfilling careers in fewer than 40 to 50 hours per week?"

Even in the best of circumstances, being a parent involves huge lifestyle changes. "You can't have your child minded all day and then spend your evenings and weekends socialising away from home, "she says.

The challenges and responsibilities of parenthood raise the question: why have children? It is an issue that would-be parents should address, Purcell says.

"People say: `I love my children'. I say: `Fine, but let me see that in the living and how your week is planned.' "