Changing social norms mean the teacher's lot is not a happy one

I have been teaching for almost 25 years. I am 20 years in my present secondary school in Dublin. That is a long time and our society has seen many changes since 1980. The impact of those changes has definitely been felt in schools.

Marriage break-up is a more common occurrence in Ireland now than heretofore. The experience of it has a profound effect on the way children behave in the classroom. Neither the child's nor the teacher's life is made any easier as a result.

Children are reared differently now than they were decades ago. This, too, has had an effect on teachers' work. Children are encouraged by their parents to be more self-confident, independent and questioning. This is no bad thing, of course, but it can get a bit challenging at times, especially when even the most insignificant directives are haggled over.

Children's attitude to authority has undergone a major shift, which has had definite consequences in the classroom. You no longer simply tell young people to do something; you "negotiate" with them and, if you're lucky, you'll eventually persuade them to see the sense or value of your request. But sometimes it can involve a lot of persuasion.

Children are having some life experiences earlier now than they were when I started teaching. They are drinking and forming relationships with the opposite sex at a younger age nowadays, usually before they are ready or mature enough to cope with such "adult" practices. The effect of this particular change can be clearly seen in the classroom and has not made the teacher's job any easier.

What I have mentioned so far refer to the way children's behaviour in school has changed, but what I consider more important is how parents' attitudes have altered in the past 20 years. I believe the way parents think about teachers and schools is very different today from what it was when I first entered the classroom.

I'm not going to go into why that is the case, but I have found that the great shift that has occurred in this regard has made the job of teaching a good bit more difficult.

If I had to sum up the changes that I have perceived, it would be that teachers no longer have the same amount of trust or confidence from parents. In the past, I found the most effective way of dealing with difficult pupils was to make contact with their homes. Once was usually enough; the problem was generally solved.

However, in the past 10 years or so the situation has not been so straightforward. I can still vividly remember the first time I phoned the mother of a disruptive pupil and got an unexpected reaction. Instead of listening to the problems her child was causing in my class, she launched an attack on some of my teaching practices. The message was clear: I was the problem, not her little darling.

It was quite an unnerving experience but, I told myself, this person is rather unusual and is simply storing up trouble for herself. Unfortunately, the mother in question turned out to be not so exceptional after all. The experience has been replicated on a number of occasions over the past 10 years to an uncomfortable extent.

Fortunately, not all parents react like this. The majority are still reasonable and sensible and realise that the teacher is concerned with the child's good when he/ she takes the trouble to make contact. But, I am a lot more cautious now about ringing or writing to parents and usually consult my colleagues first to check their experiences of the particular person. Up to a decade or so, I didn't have the slightest hesitation in contacting students' homes.

More unpleasantness

Another unpleasant aspect of parent-teacher communication of recent years in my experience has been to receive letters or notes from time to time accusing me of treating a pupil unjustly, or disciplining one unfairly, or giving too much homework or having unrealistic expectations. The missives are not usually written in the most diplomatic language. In fact, to be candid, they sometimes lack the basics of common courtesy.

Annual parent-teacher meetings are an important aspect of school life and I have always found them valuable and rewarding (if pretty exhausting!). But here, again, I have noticed that things are not as they used to be. One can never really be sure, any more, how a meeting will go.

Usually, I'm glad to say, teacher and parent communicate honestly, openly and fruitfully, and the exchange is mutually beneficial. But, on occasion, one encounters an element of aggression and blame-laying that is symptomatic of the changes I have been discussing.

Three years ago, an incident involving a parent occurred that I found quite shocking. One of our school secretaries came to see me in the staffroom at the end of morning break, evidently in an agitated state, to say that an irate parent was demanding to talk to me.

I could not see him because I was on my way to class and, anyway, our school policy is that parents make appointments to see teachers. Our principal was able to see the parent in question and he went away. I spoke to the secretary afterwards and she said it was a terrifying experience for her - the man was so irate, she was afraid he was actually going to strike her!

This parent's child did not have the book she needed for three weeks. When I asked her when she intended to get it, she just shrugged her shoulders. There was no point in her being in the class without the book, and, besides, she talked to anyone whose attention she could get at every opportunity. So I had been sending her to a supervised room. Evidently her father felt I was being unjust to her. He listened to only one side of the story.

Without the support of parents, the teachers' lot is not a happy one.

Brian Maye is a teacher in a south Dublin secondary school.