2 cool 4 skool

Actress/novelist Claudia Carroll tells it how it was

Where did you go to school?

Loreto College, Stephen's Green, right the way from primary through to the Leaving Cert, so I'm a Loreto girl through and through. I can even remember the school song. Yes, we had a school song, which the nuns made us sing every assembly with poor Sr Marion bashing it out on the piano while we screeched along. It was all very St Trinian's.

Were you cool or were you one of the nerdy kids?

Nerdy and swotty when I was young, but then coming towards second and third year there was  a gang of us who mistakenly thought we were cool, although when I think back to us all parading around the place in Fame legwarmers, hair backcombed to within an inch of its life - that's if you didn't have a bubble perm - and way too much blusher/lip gloss/blue eyeliner going on, I do wince a bit. What can I say? It was the 1980s, the decade that taste forgot. Sure, God love us, we had to learn about style by watching Dallas.

Give us an extract of a school report

I remember "satisfactory" featuring quite a bit and I was always delighted with that, as were my parents, until I went back to teach in the school and found out that's what they'd write when they hadn't a clue who you were.

Who was your favourite teacher in primary school? Why?

Mother Hildegard, our principal. My dad used to say she could run the country with one hand tied behind her back and he wasn't far wrong. She loved drama, and the highlight of the school year was always the play. She instilled a lifelong love of theatre in me and loads of other Loreto girls who went into acting full-time after they escaped . . . sorry, I mean left. Una Crawford-OBrien, Gemma Doorley - they're both in Fair City - and, of course, Gemma Craven, who was the big star past pupil.

How about secondary school? Anyone who inspired you?

Mary Campbell, who taught English and history. She was just so passionate about her subjects, it was infectious. And any woman who can convince 16- year-olds that Persuasion is actually very funny and romantic, even though it's slow-moving and didn't appeal to our short, teenage attention spans, deserves a medal.

Did you have a nickname?

No, although I'd have really liked one; I always hated the name Claudia and spent years letting teachers mistakenly call me Clodagh or Gloria. Vast improvements, I always figured.

What was the first album you bought?

I think a Wham album was the first one I actually bought and didn't just scab from my friends, but ABC and Duran Duran were a close second and third. The laugh was that back then we all used to reckon Madonna was going to be a one-hit wonder.

What's on your iPod now?

So much of anything and everything, from Amy Winehouse to musical soundtracks. I often think, if the police were ever trying to profile me based solely on what's on my iPod, they'd have a right job.

What posters did you have on your bedroom wall?

I threw away a lot of my formative years investing in posters and fancying men who subsequently turned out to be gay. Honestly, when I think of all the years I wasted having a crush on George Michael. I mean, even Elton John was married in the 1980s.

Who was your first crush?

I was fickle and it would vary from week to week, although there was a lads' school around the corner from us, so there was never any shortage of fellas to fancy. Although I was terrible for getting crushes on fellas who didn't know I existed; it reduced my chances for humiliation if he didn't fancy me back, was my teenage logic.

Who would play you in a movie of your younger days?

Ehhh. . . Kathy Bates. Or possibly Kathy Burke, if she wasn't available. It'd be a toss- up.

What did you study in college?

Commerce. A total waste of time, although handy when it comes to doing my tax returns.

Regrets? Have you had a few?

See above answer. Although UCD was great crack and friends from college days are still friends now, so, all in all, probably well worth having to study accounting ethics and corporate governance for, I reckon!