'My poker face is non-existent'

DERMOT WHELAN, COMEDIAN

Are you a saver or a spender? A total spender! My wife and I are really good at convincing ourselves we deserve treats. Many treats.

Do you shop around for better value?I try to. I'll go to Lidl and buy 30 tubs of smoked sausages and bags of men's value vests. And then I go back to Marks Spencer and spend my children's inheritance.

What has been your most extravagant purchase ever and how much did it cost? I bought an old Jaguar which is basically a large money box that I pour my cash into. It's in the garage. Again. But it looks so brilliant! It's Kelly Brook with wheels. Great shape, fantastic looks but not much happening under the hood . . .

What purchase have you made that you consider the best value for money?My three year old's Woody doll. It's permanently stuck to his hand. Both his feet have been loved off.

Have you ever crossed the Border to shop?No. I'm way too lazy to drive that far. And Newry is too grey to visit.

Do you haggle over prices?Yes. But I'm not very good at it. My poker face is non-existent.

Has the recession changed your spending habits?No. Three children have.

Do you invest in shares?No. I don't understand any of that. Both Wall Street movies confused the life out of me.

Cash or card?When my card is rejected, I usually use cash.

What was the last thing you bought and was it good value for money? A watch I didn't need. My wife doesn't think so.

Have you ever successfully saved up for a relatively big purchase?I had an Ulster Bank Henry Hippo money box once but I smashed his head off to buy jellies.

Have you ever lost money?50p fell out of my pocket on the rollercoaster at Funderland. It was for sweets. I had to make do with a Chomp.

Are you a gambler and if so have you ever had a big win? Paddy Power send me a Christmas card so I guess that means I'm not that good at it.

Is money important to you?Yes. Money is brilliant. It let's you go to restaurants and buy drum and golf equipment you don't need. But I treat it like Colin Farrell treats women. I spend ages trying to get it and then I get rid of it as quickly as I can.

How much money do you have on you now?Get your own money.

Dermot Whelan will perform at The Cat Laughs Comedy Festival, Kilkenny over the June Bank Holiday weekend, June 2nd-6th. thecatlaughs.com.