The annual Christmas party dos and don’ts
It might sometimes feel like a drag, but the right frame of mind can help
Do leave if you’re having a crap time. The fact that you’ve turned up, made an effort and had a few drinks is enough. You don’t owe these guys your Thursday night.
DO dress up. A Christmas jumper is always fun, but a full Santa suit is not, especially if it involves asking anyone to sit on your knee.
DO talk about something other than work. You know you’ll end up spending the whole night talking about X’s email tone and that weird thing that Y does every time she makes coffee, but at least make an effort to change the subject once or twice.
DO limit your drinking, at least at first. Try and stay one drink behind the most senior member of staff and save the Jägerbombs for the end of the night when Simon from HR has gone home.
DO chat to everyone. It’s tempting to sit in the corner with your mates, but this could be an opportunity to get to know handsome Bill from accounts or even wrangle some serious gossip. See that line manager standing on his own swaying in the corner? Bingo.
DO leave if you’re having a crap time. The fact that you’ve turned up, made an effort with your tinsel earrings and had a few drinks is enough. You don’t owe these guys your Thursday night. Feel free to pull an Irish goodbye when the time is right.
DO have an afters plan. If you end up having a ball there’s nothing worse than all standing around outside trying to figure out where to go next. Stock your fridge with beer or book a table somewhere.
And the don’ts
DON’T get handsy with colleagues. Unless they ask you to, or you want to.
DON’T be the guy who spends the night on his phone. You’ll either be the rude lad not talking to anyone; or you’ll be putting footage of your colleagues faces online and no one is going to thank you for that in the morning.
DON’T stand beside the kitchen door and eat all the cocktail sausages before anyone else can.
DON’T call in sick the next day. Even if you were vomiting all night/broke your arm /woke up with a rash, the horrible truth is that no one will believe you. Drag your sorry self to the office or get a doctor’s note.
DON’T wear sunglasses inside when you do go in to work.
DON’T air your grievances. No matter how great an idea you think it is at the time, the office party is not the time to talk to your boss about that pay rise/ crappy working hours/new position.
DON’T get naked, unless at least two members of senior staff are naked. Then always get naked... We’re joking.
DON’T be the last one standing. The last person to leave is usually the person everyone will remember the next day. Nothing good ever happens after 3am, well, not at an office party anyway.