ISSUES/Road Signs: Not only can following the road signs in this country put you in grave danger of getting lost, as Barry McCall reports, one slip can be fatal
Ireland's road sign policy, such as it is, could have been dreamed up as a joint effort by Salvador Dali and Albert Einstein - one with his talent for surrealism and the other with a mind which could grasp the concepts of curved and folded space. To illustrate this point let's start with the basics.
Irish speed limits are set in miles per hour and therefore the signs are enumerated in that particular currency. However, our distance signs are all in kilometres. Of course, to those of us who have become accustomed to this fairly crazy duality over the years this poses no particular problem. However, what about the increasing numbers of overseas visitors using our admittedly improving roads network? What are they to believe? That our speed limits on motorways are a crazy 70 kilometres per hour - about 44 miles per hour? Or that the journey from Dublin to Cork is actually about 250 miles? And this is just the beginning. The distances indicated on our road signs certainly have something to do with curved space. Travelling from Killarney to Mitchelstown your trip metre can indicate a distance travelled of some five miles on one stretch while the road signs tell you that a mere two kilometres have been travelled, and at a later point just two miles of driving take you some nine kilometres.
But these are minor quibbles. In fact we could almost use the inconsistencies in the distance markers as a tourist attraction, a part of the quaint Ireland last seen in The Quiet Man, where Irish miles are a variable unit of measurement and a sign that the countryside has withstood its metrication and remains joyfully free from physical definition. After all, this does not pose any real risk to life or limb.
However, signs indicating major turn-offs positioned just yards in advance of said turnings do. This method of sign positioning is to be found the length and breadth of the country. Its effect is to cause drivers to stand on the brakes in an effort to slow their vehicles to a safe speed at which to take the corner - downright dangerous not just for them but for traffic behind them.
And then of course there is the total absence of signs to really confuse us.
The road from Urlingford to Kilkenny City is a rather pleasant drive through some nice countryside. This is fortunate as people unfamiliar with the route might find themselves seeing a lot more of this countryside than they had bargained for.
Midway along the route is a major T-junction.Turning right takes the person on to Kilkenny and turning left takes them to God-knows-where. Of course, there is no sign to guide people so they have to rely on instinct, guesswork and luck.
Getting lost is not the worst thing that can happen to someone on a small island. But getting confused on a major motorway can be fatal. Only a compass designed by the aforementioned Senor Dali could account for the road signage on Dublin's motorway network.
Driving from the N7 onto the Red Cow Roundabout the signage indicates that taking the third exit - effectively a right turn - on to the M50 will take a person in a southbound direction.
However, if they continue past this turning - effectively doubling back - they will find that they are also driving towards a place called "The South" . To make matters more confusing, a parallel exit from the M50 just a few hundred metres north of this spot takes people to a place called "The West".
And what of the poor tourist looking for Tallaght - a place known to be among Dublin's western suburbs? What does a sign saying "Southbound" mean to them? Either they attempt to consult a map while traversing one of the country's most dangerous roundabouts or they again trust to luck.
This brings us to the final insult. The introduction of signal controlled roundabouts was undoubtedly unavoidable due to the massive increases in traffic volumes the country has experienced over recent years.
However, the signage and road markings are hopelessly inadequate, particularly for overseas visitors or inexperienced drivers. You approach the Red Cow Roundabout with the intention of going south on the M50. You get in the approach lane indicated by the signs - the far right lane on the N7 dual carriageway. Then you find that with no warning from signs or road markings you have to veer across at least two lanes in order to get into the correct lane to exit where you wish.
All it takes is one moment of hesitation or a driver to have entered from the wrong lane to cause a potentially fatal collision.
The state of our road signage has really gone beyond a joke - and it's not as if a degree in rocket science is required to fix the problem, all it needs is a little common sense.