My wife kissed a lot of men before she met me and I can’t stop thinking about it

Dear Roe: She doesn’t know that I’ve found out about all these guys, should I confront her?

‘These guys clearly meant nothing to her but I am having a hard time dealing with this.’ Photograph: iStock

‘These guys clearly meant nothing to her but I am having a hard time dealing with this.’ Photograph: iStock

Dear Roe,

I am a man in my 30s, married with kids. I love my wife; she is a beautiful and caring woman. She is an extrovert while I am very much an introvert. When we met about 10 years ago, I had not had a serious relationship before meeting her. I knew she had a relationship that lasted six months. We both had a few previous sexual partners, but neither of us were very experienced in bed. However, I recently discovered that my wife kissed an awful lot of guys in her late teens and early 20s. She was going out and getting very drunk and kissing guys pretty much every night she was out and regularly more than one guy. So she was probably with 100 guys over five or six years. I kissed maybe 10 girls in the same period. These guys clearly meant nothing to her but I am having a hard time dealing with this. She does not know that I know. Should I confront her? Am I being ridiculous as she wasn’t sleeping with them? I cannot sleep or think about anything else. I need help.

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