“I wasn’t aware of it all at first,” says Eileen of her son’s drug addiction.
“I had other children, I was working and I was trying to keep all the balls up in the air.”
Eileen, who prefers not to give her surname to protect her family’s identity, says her son became addicted to cocaine during the Covid-19 lockdowns.
An essential worker, in farming, he did not have to restrict his movements.
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When his problem was brought to her attention by another family member, she says “the bottom fell out” of her world.
“I didn’t know what to do, where to go. I was trying to help him. I was confronting him,” she adds.
“We were getting into big arguments and then unfortunately he ran up drug debts. Then the intimidation [by those he owed money to] started. That was terrifying. I was afraid for my son’s life, afraid for all of us.”
Eileen was speaking ahead of the inaugural conference of Families in Addiction Recovery Ireland (Fari), which takes place at Croke Park, Dublin on Monday.
Minister of State for the National Drugs Strategy Jennifer Murnane O’Connor is due to address the event, which will hear that families affected by addiction, who are often key to their loved ones’ recoveries, are neither adequately supported nor sufficiently involved in drugs policy.
Fari is a coalition of 80 groups dedicated to supporting families affected by addiction. It has been formed following the dissolution in 2021 of the Family Support Network.
“We want the lived experience of families and communities in government strategies to ensure the needs of people most affected are involved in the development of policies, their implementation and evaluation of services,” said Fari chair Breda Fell.
Currently, she said, there is no representation for families’ voices in national drugs policy, no strategy to support affected families and no funding programme to develop family support.
While many local organisations are supporting families, there is no easily accessible signposting, such as a website or phone line, directing families in crisis to supports.
Fari is calling for families’ perspectives to be incorporated into the new national drugs strategy, which is being developed by the Department of Health.
Ms Fell said families experience significant adversity, including emotional and financial strain. Many people throughout Ireland endure intimidation and violence due to loved ones’ drug debts, she said.
The organisation estimates that up to 280,000 people are affected by a family member’s addiction.
Eileen says that while facing with her son’s addiction issues her sleep and health “deteriorated big time”.
“I wasn’t eating. I was so, so worried about my son. I was also worried I was not giving enough time to the rest of my family.”
However, she and her husband “didn’t know where to go” to find support.
“Until drug addiction comes to your door, it is not something you look into because you don’t have the need for it. But once it comes to your door you are desperate to find help.”
She heard about the Family Addiction Support Network which operates in the northeast. She found “people going through the same as I was” when she attended its meetings.
“I felt understanding, support. I learned a different way of thinking. It helped me to separate myself [from the addiction] and get on with my life as best I could for me, while supporting my son,” she says.
The advice and support provided by the network “definitely helped my son”, says Eileen.
“He says to this day he wouldn’t have recovered without the love and support of his family, but with FASN we were able to go in parallel – giving him room to breathe and make his own choices.”
She is grateful the network was there, but notes it is not a national organisation. “We definitely need more FASNs across the country, and a single place, a national organisation where families can go to get information about help.”
