Emo kidder

Emo Philips talks to BRIAN BOYDahead of his appearances at the Carlsberg Comedy Carnival

What's on your rider?I've never felt comfortable making demands. I have an easy rider.

What would be on your fantasy rider?A trained falcon to swoop down from the rafters and grab away cellphones.

What's the worst gig you've ever been to?In the early 1980s, in a Chicago suburb, there was a gig at the Stay Out All Night Disco. Two comedians would go on every Monday at 2am, much to the annoyance of the patrons, who would glare at us for 40 minutes until the music started again. The only people who enjoyed the show were all the other Chicago area comedians, who would turn out faithfully each week to watch their friends bomb.

What's your crowd-pleasing routine?A crowd-pleasing routine? That's brilliant. It would be an amazing addition to the act. I could even end on it. Wow! Thank you so much.

Have you a special stage wardrobe?I sport slinky, shiny shirts that show off my slenderness and alliterative abilities.

Do you like to meet and greet fans after the show?I do, although, to be honest, whenever I meet my fans, I sense that we both walk away a bit disappointed.

Any useful stage tips?Avoid that edge.

Is there a shrine to Bill Hicks in your dressing room?No, but I once constructed one to Danny Kaye out of leftovers from the deli platter.

How many comedians does it take to change a light bulb?Are you kidding? The stage hands' union would shut us down so fast.

Emo Philips performs tonight, tomorrow and Sunday at the Carlsberg Comedy Carnival in Dublin’s Iveagh Gardens