How do I break up with a friend who talks about me behind my back?
This person used to be nice and caring. Could they be having some mental health issues?
Tell Me About It
Advice articles from Trish Murphy in the Tell Me About It series
‘I love my four adult children deeply, but they won’t leave home, and I am desperate’
Tell Me About It: ‘I’ve told my partner I am not going to retire. Work might save my sanity’
‘My friend has never been in a relationship with a man and I’d like her to seek professional help’
Tell Me About It: ‘She is confident in her job and socially popular but lacks confidence to date’
‘I only want a part-time relationship. Can I put my kids through a second marriage break-up?’
Tell Me About It: ‘I am very physically attracted to my husband, and this makes it hard to actually leave’
‘I have two problems, feel under terrible pressure and lack the resources to fix either’
Tell Me About It: ‘I feel very strongly that I am being pushed out by the organisation. I won’t go though’
‘It’s like my husband has got himself an AI therapist. He says he now feels fully heard’
‘Suddenly there’s no longer just two of us in this relationship, and I now feel very judged by AI’
‘I can’t believe I let this wonderful woman slip through my fingers’
Tell Me About It: We had a huge row where I accused her parents of scheming against me
‘I recently met a fantastic man through work. He is divorced, but I am married’
‘My husband is a good man. It’s just there is nothing there between us any more’
‘An older man was chatting up my date, I’m humiliated and reluctant to let it go’
Tell Me About It: I actually thought we were in a relationship and I am reluctant to let it go
‘My partner keeps asking for an open relationship’
Tell Me About It: ‘He says we are boring and as consenting adults we can expand our sex life into something more exciting’
‘I don’t know if I trust my husband any more. Should I hire an investigator?’
Tell Me About It: I know when he is not being honest after 30 plus years together
‘I asked the woman in the bookshop on a date and she bolted. I feel mortified’
Tell Me About It: ‘Did I misread what I took as inviting signals?’
‘My close friend is marrying a good-looking man who uses people – should I say something?’
Tell Me About It: I really love my friend and worry that if I say anything she will be hugely hurt and push me away
‘I’m on the verge of walking away from my friend who seems to be a narcissist’
Tell Me About It: I was aware they had become distant from other friends in the past, but never knew exactly why
‘Some days I genuinely feel like my life would be happier without my husband’
Tell Me About It: I don’t like my husband right now, and I’m scared I’m moving further from a place of liking him
‘My long-time friend implied to my spouse that I was having an affair’
Tell Me About It: A long-standing pal implied to my spouse that I was seeing other people, which was a complete lie
‘Am I better to be truthful to my teenage son and tell him about his dad?’
Tell Me About It: My son was conceived from a sexual assault, there was no relationship, and his father was never there for me in any way
‘I rarely bring up my sexuality in front of family, for fear they will not love me’
Tell Me About It: ‘I am not sure if I should be confronting them, or continuing to shut down during these conversations for the sake of peace’
‘I want to continue to give up alcohol, but I’ve relented due to pressure from my spouse’
Tell Me About It: I no longer enjoy drinking and would really like to cut it out. What should I do?
‘I was away for the weekend, looked at the doorbell camera and could see my boyfriend moving out’
Tell Me About It: I am in my mid-30s, and I know I want commitment. Do I wait in hope for my boyfriend, or move on?
‘My sibling turns every family event into a scene where they are the star’
Tell Me About It: ‘They are never satisfied with the level of attention they get – so I don’t really bother trying’
‘I left my husband, but things are messy ... everything is about money now’
Tell Me About It: Seek professional support now and begin the process of creating separate lives
‘My siblings did not inform me of my mother’s death’
Tell Me About It: ‘Since I disclosed familial sexual abuse, I have been estranged from my parents and siblings’
‘I’ve had a traumatic event, but my best friend has not really shown up for me’
Tell Me About It: ‘This person has changed from caring to much more hard-nosed’
‘My son spends hours gaming and on YouTube. He has become slightly overweight and I am worried’
I am worried that my older son will suffer because we do not have the bandwidth to make sure he is getting what he needs
‘None of what I intended to do with my life has materialised but I struggle to make a decision to change it’
Tell Me About It: ‘For the umpteenth time I have questioned what I am doing there and how I should change my life to something more meaningful’
‘I feel a bit resentful of my daughter who did not involve me in her new marriage after her husband died’
Tell Me About It: I’m afraid that if I do the wrong thing, she might cut me off
‘I discovered the affair when a text came in on my husband’s phone’
Tell Me About It: We have decided to stay together but it has been an uphill battle to rebuild trust
‘I’m dating someone, but now she is going to hear about what I did’
Tell Me About It: I spent the night with someone I shouldn’t have . . . I feel like I cannot stop myself from self-destruction
‘Is it worth taking my family to see a grandad who is only sort of interested in seeing them?’
Tell Me About It: Your family is worth your effort and your children will connect with their heritage and gain cousins
‘I love being home for Christmas – but my dad uses it as an excuse to drink excessively’
Tell Me About It: I’m bringing my partner home for the first time. He’s not Irish, and I’m worried he’ll judge my family
I absolutely dread going to my husband’s parents’ home for Christmas
My mother-in-law is a control freak and she criticises everything I do, say or wear
‘My wife has been diagnosed with dementia and I’m upset we have not had the chance to realise our dreams’
Tell Me About It: My wife wanted me to retire five years ago, and we had plans for travelling. I stubbornly kept putting it off
‘I left work to rear the kids, but now I feel alone, isolated from my husband and undesirable’
Tell Me About It: ‘I really feel worthless and can’t see myself doing anything worthwhile’
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