A is for Arnhem, Albertini and attacking football - In statistical terms Euro 2000 gave us 85 goals in its 31 matches. But it was the culture of attack that really impressed. France, Portugal, the Czechs and even Slovenia, in their finals debut, all went for it from the first game. But most of all A is for Amsterdam, the city that gave itself to the tournament, the perfect host.
B is for Belgium. Remember it? Remember them? That first night in Brussels feels about 3 1/2 weeks ago. Remember the giant blow-up man at the opening ceremony. Then the fireworks as Belgium seemed to realise it, too, was hosting Euro 2000. And then the defeats. Then the exit. But we will remember Bruges. And Bierhoff, missing against England. And BRITIAN, the tattoo on a clever hooligan.
C is for Charleroi (still standing), Conceicao (unpronounceable) and cannabis, the eau de cologne of Amsterdam. But not last Thursday. In the window of the Cannabis Academy on Achterburgwal, a sign: "Closed due to the match - Holland v Italy." Spliffing good show.
D is for Dino. The incomparable grumpster known as Dr Zoff. It was the worst night of his life, he said of Sunday, and he looks as though he's had a few. But Dino knew what he was doing all along. Seconds from the greatest public mugging ever seen in Europe, but Sylvia and Daveed had their own agenda. D is also for diving. Get up, Shearer, Hagi and the rest of you.
E is for embarrassment, Eindhoven and England. Where to start? Well, not at the back. What about just kicking it forward and running after it. These bloody foreigners don't like it up 'em, you know. As the correspondent from Gazetta Della Sport replied: "Why would they?"
F is for Frank. All three of them. First De Boer strikes a penalty at Francesco. Francesco saves. Then De Boer does it again. Francesco saves again. Frank number three is so sick he resigns on the penalty spot. Rijkaard, Ribbeck and Coelho. But not KK.
G is for goalkeeping rule. Six seconds to comply and only Fabien Barthez seemed to understand.
H is for Hagi. The boy Gheorghe went out with a bang, inside his own head. One minute he is reminding everyone of his genius by hitting the Italian woodwork, the next he is cheating.
I is for Italy. They came, they saw, they got men behind the ball, and they almost conquered. It was not their fault that until Totti decided to show what he could do against France, their best players had been defenders and the 'keeper. They made the most of their attributes. It's called organisation. And they scored nine goals in six games.
J is for Joie de vivre. They played the best football. They had the best striker in Henry. They had the best player in Zidane. They had the best defender in Desailly. France were the best and their achievement was that they made us want them to win.
K is for Keegan. Enough said.
L is for Lothar. Into his 40th year and still good enough to out-shine many half his age. But no more. The day after the England game, he said: "When I woke up this morning I thought it was a nightmare. Sadly it wasn't."
M is for Marca, the Spanish sports daily. "Once again all Spain deplores the selection," it said after defeat by Norway. One week later, after Mendieta, Munitis and Alfonso put four past Yugoslavia, Marca said: "Long live the mother that bore you." Newspapers.
N is for Neville, Nedved and Nesta. Poor Philip and his lunge at Moldovan. Poor Pavel and his side leaving the tournament at the first stage having out-played Holland in Amsterdam and then gone toe to toe with France in Bruges. And poor Alessandro. So brilliant, so close. So far.
O can only be for Oranje. The colour of Euro 2000. The Netherlands threw themselves into fancy dress. "Sex, Drugs and Oranje Goals," said a banner in Rotterdam. Everything was orange, even the cows were made to wear the kit by one deranged farmer.
P is for Platini and his ungracious comment about Zidane. And also penalties, the lack of them. Whereas Euro '96 had four shoot-outs in the quarter and semi-final stages, Euro 2000 had just one. Dutch ineptitude was staggering. Totti's was the cheekiest but Zidane's golden pen v Portugal was the best.
Q is for quote. "I'm amazed at the similarities between Keegan's predicament and mine at Euro '92, even down to the hooligan element who again disgraced the country. The results went wrong, the team went out. Same old story. Only the names have changed." Graham Taylor.
"With or without feathers?" - serious question asked of former Arsenal and England forward Alan Smith after ordering chicken in Argentinian restaurant in Amsterdam.
R is for Rotterdam, refereeing and red cards. The venue for the final was the correct one, a far superior stadium to the Amsterdam Arena or Heysel. The refereeing was pretty good, though why baldy Collina did not send off Paco for rugby tackling Thierry Henry is something troubling UEFA. Allegedly.
S is for sex. As in Freddie Ljungberg's statement that the Swedish squad are not interested in the subject before matches because it leaves you feeling "numb" in the morning.
T is for tackle. A few years ago Michel Platini argued that football's only chance of saving itself from the cheats and cynics was to make it virtually a non-contact sport. How we howled at that. Now that it is virtually that and we have just witnessed an extravaganza of attacking play, Platini may just be in need of some respect. There were so few bad tackles we can name the guilty men. Albertini, Hagi, Mjallby, De Wilde and Paco.
U is for Useless XI. F De Wilde (Belgium); P Neville (England), S Campbell (England), P Gabriel (Czech Republic), P Andersson (Sweden); D Wise (England), S Tofting (Denmark), Tugay (Turkey), D Hamann (Germany); K Andersson (Sweden), U Kirsten (Germany).
V is for voetball. And Vieira - off to Juventus? And Rudi Voller, the man with the job of picking up the pieces of German football after Erich Ribbeck's resignation. All the best.
W is for Wiltord. Wee Sylvia saved France.
X is for Xavier, as in the Everton eejit with someone else's head and face wig on. "No, course we didn't see you handling the ball. You're so inconspicuous."
Y is for Yugoslavia. They gave us Big Savo back and he finished top scorer alongside Kluivert. They also featured in two seven-goal thrillers, though the second, the 6-1 defeat by Holland, may not have been reported as such in Belgrade.
Z, leave the best to last. Zlatko Zahovic, the Karel Poborsky of Euro 2000? Zambrotta, the man who started Italy's Alamo in Amsterdam. And, of course, Zizou. Zinedine Zidane, the finest footballer in the world. And a winner.
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