As if Frank Lampard hadn't enough on his plate trying to drag Everton away from the Premier League's trap door, he was the subject of one of those viral tweet thingies during the week which addressed the issue of him being rather unpopular on Merseyside because of his support for the British Conservative party.
"Lampard has been christened 'Frankie De Tory' by sections of Liverpool supporters," read the report from the Telegraph, but the man himself sort of insisted that this was inaccurate.
“I am not a Tory. I’m just a normal member of the electorate, a normal voter. I am not a Tory. I have voted Tory all of my life and I agree with their policies, their take on issues in society, but I am not a Tory . . . as I said, I am not a Tory. All I have done is vote for them all my life . . . seriously though, I am not a Tory.”
How much dog’s abuse did the fella get over this quote? You can imagine. The one problem? While he is a supporter of the Tories, this particular story and the accompanying quotes were entirely made up by an unidentified rascal, no such report ever appearing in the Telegraph. Did this clarification go viral?
Eh, no. Poor Frank.
McGhee running out of ideas
Dundee had a crucial game at the weekend, the side, currently bottom of the Scottish Premiership, in desperate need of a win at home to St Johnstone.
Manager Mark McGhee decided in advance that he needed to tweak his preparations because, as he said, “it is the Einstein adage – if you keep doing the same things and expect a different outcome then it is madness”.
So, he went on a diet – “I then ask myself why am I hungry and I am hungry because there is a big game on Saturday” – and turned off the heating in his home.
“I then ask myself why am I cold? I can say because of the game on Saturday. His captain Charlie Adams?” He says I’m off my head.”
How did it go?
Well, Dundee let a 1-0 lead slip, drawing in the end, moving ever closer to the drop. Had his motivational techniques worked? “Of course – you can’t say they didn’t work because we drew,” he said, having reckoned nothing but a win would do.
There could be a reason, though, why his players avoided winning. Their gaffer’s other pre-match view was that he’d walk around naked for a week.
“It’s not going to help anyone,” he conceded, “but you have just got to do something.”
Not that Mark, not that.
Quote of the week
"It's clear it's not enough to do some minor cosmetic things. In medicine you would say that this is an operation of the open heart."
– Ralf Rangnick reckoning that it's major surgery that United need, if a heart can be found to operate on
By the numbers
91,648 - The record attendance set by Barcelona's women's team at the Camp Nou last week in the Uefa Champions League. At this rate, they'll need a bigger stadium.
Word of mouth (I)
"Even if I thought it was the worst refereeing performance I've ever seen, I couldn't comment on it." – Technically a 'no comment' from manager Damien Duff after being sent off during Shelbourne's SSE Airtricity League Premier Division 2-1 defeat by Dundalk, but . . .
"It's embarrassing, it's completely disappointing and also humiliating – but we've got to accept that they're six years ahead of us." – Apart from that, Ralf Rangnick was quite upbeat after that 0-4 hiccup at Anfield.
"If I was Rice or Bellingham . . . I would run a mile if United called." – Jamie Carragher with some career advice for young Declan and Jude.
"Before he arrived, I didn't like him. To be honest, I'm not mates with the Aubameyang you see on Instagram. I'm mates with Pierre-Emerick. People don't know Pierre-Emerick. They know Aubameyang." – Alexandre Lacazette on his fondness for Pierre-Emerick and dislike of Aubameyang.
Word of mouth (II)
"I'm not going to lie – I was shitting myself." – Spain international Juan Miranda being quite frank about taking the penalty that won Real Betis the Copa del Rey in the shoot-out against Valencia.
"On a selfish level, I'd like to keep him. And take him on a holiday with me, take him home." – Not only does Mauricio Pochettino want Kylian Mbappé to stay at Paris St-Germain, it would appear that he wants to adopt him.
“They are not in a good moment . . . I feel a bit for them.” – As if things weren’t bad enough for Manchester United, they now have the manager of Liverpool Jürgen Klopp feeling sorry for them.