QUARTER-FINALS IRELAND v WALES: IF YOU ASK ME:IT'S AT times like these (not that they happen very often) that you know you will never have a proper relationship with anyone who doesn't get sport. These are the moments you live for.
No disrespect to the runners and riders, but I’m not sure I’ve cared about anything as little as Ireland’s Presidential race. Maybe that’s the problem, some of them look like horses and others look like jockeys, but, put in the context of this Saturday’S game, I care more about the packet of wine gums Im eating.
The not too sweet Nick Mallett, he of the goggly eyed, vein-popping stare and the “we’ve got a better scrum than you” talk, (yeah right) described Declan Kidney as “a true gentleman” after the Ireland coach sought him out to wish him well after the South African hung up his clichés last weekend.
No doubt a shoo-in for the Áras should things not work out on Saturday, its a testament to the coach that after a week of irrelevant media bilge about what Mallett did or didnt say, Father Deccie saw the bigger picture and made the right call. Admittedly the gesture was made after his team took the Michelangelo out of an Italian team who, like every item in a washing detergent commercial, can only be described as “deep down dirty”.
There was messy stuff all over the pitch, in places which are usually reasonably clean, but if Cian Healy was the shiny new socks in the load, then Salvatore Perugini was the big old underpants, and sometimes you just have to throw them out. So we did.
The fresh, youth-influenced Welsh squad, who are making as many headlines for being off the jar as the English are for being on it, will be a different proposition of course. This is a new breed, a kind of born-again, new-age athletes seeing the light, while captain Sam Warburton or Sam the Baptist spreads the message of abstinence to his converted apostles. Although, presumably if they lose on Saturday, theyll go out and get hammered, especially with Andy ‘Golf Buggy’ Powell there.
The “experts” seem agreed this match is too close to call, possessing as it does, according to ITV’s Lawrence Dallaglio, “the best open-side flanker in the tournament” – Warburton, and somehow simultaneously – “the best back row forward in the tournament” – Seán O’Brien.
Last week, the freshly blow-dried locks of host Steve Ryder glistened in their own hair-spray as the whole panel discussed – in the kind of tones only they can – how “colourful” and “passionate” us Irish are. Gee thanks Steve! It’s not that Ryder is particularly offensive, that at least would be interesting, it’s more the fact that he is so bland he appears to have turned beige. Ireland’s representative Girvan Dempsey did what he has been doing on the pitch the last 15 years: defending, fielding and usually kicking to touch.
Warren Gatland hasn’t shot his mouth off too much this week either, but even the virtuous Father Deccie must feel a little residue of bitterness after their most recent fixture was decided by a touch judge deciding that Wales’ illegal try was, in fact grand.
Let’s hope we get a similar call on Saturday. Of course Wellington is a small place, so what happens this week if the two wise men happen to find themselves seated side by side in the same restaurant ? What would be said between man of few words Declan Kidney and man of fewer words Warren Gatland?
DK– How are you Warren?
WG– Oh hello Declan.
PAUSE
WG– Enjoying New Zealand?
DK– Ah in some ways its great. Youd miss home, you know, but this is a great country for the outdoors. Being brought up here you must do loads of adventuring do you?
WG– No not really, I prefer to stay in.
DK– Right.
PAUSE
DK– Is this a regular haunt of yours?
WG- Been here a couple of times.
PAUSE
DK– Is there anything youd recommend?
WG– The food!
PAUSE
DK– Right. Im just going to get a table over here and look at the wall. Itd be better craic!
Man of few words or not, everything he’s touching now is turning to gold. In fact it’s getting serious now. The possibility that this team could do something very special has the whole country (and a whole lot of other countries with Irish exiles) riding high and all of a sudden the air feels a lot thinner. No more is the notion that Ireland could (don’t say it out loud ) lift the gold thing at the end of the tournament a load of giddy nonsense. Although such is the apparent delicacy of this opportunity that when you put it to print, you can’t help experiencing moments of vertigo while you’re pressing the key-pad.
Will there ever be a better chance for Ireland to win a RWC? Will a team representing Ireland have a better chance of achieving the ultimate goal? Probably not in my lifetime. Steady, steady, one step at a time. Perhaps its our way to be sceptical of success, or more pertinently, of achieving it, but surely now its time to face the reality and acknowledge WE CAN GO ALL THE WAY.
Oops I apologise, that was a bit too loud!
Risteárd Cooper’s latest offbeat look at all things World Cup can be viewed this morning at www.irishtimes.com/rwc
