Home is the hero, but Hunter has hill to climb

He's back! Our leader returns! Irish football has direction again! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Granted, his return hasn't been universally welcomed: some are angry, some are incensed, some have even questioned his right to represent us ever again, considering how he's maddened them in the past, and many a harsh word has been written and spoken about him in the last week.TV View

But maybe it's time for us all to put the past behind us, move on, let bygones be bygones and just focus on the long-term good of Irish football.

Like it or lump it, Alan Hunter, president of the Irish Football Supporters' Association, is back in our footballing lives.

Indeed, if the other fella who came back last week produces for Ireland, in the World Cup qualifiers, performances as memorable as Hunter's on Tuesday's Prime Time, the Faroe Islands, Switzerland, Cyprus and Israel (and also-rans France) will be scrapping for second place in the group.

Hunter, whose IFSA website, incidentally, is sponsored by Lino Ritchie Carpets, called for a referendum on the issue of whether Roy Keane should be allowed play for Ireland again. No, he did, honest.

"I think that it's so serious - the reputation of Irish soccer, the best fans in the world, the reputation of our country - it should be put to the people," he told Miriam O'Callaghan, who replied with an expression that said: "Oh, my God."

Michael McDowell wasn't immediately available for comment but is understood to be unreceptive to Hunter's proposal. After all, the only practical date available for such a referendum is June 11th, when most of the nation already has to learn how to vote electronically for the first time, has to vote in a referendum on citizenship rights, has to vote in the local elections and has to vote in the European elections.

Add a Keane referendum to the day's work (and, while you're at it, "Should the Duffer play on the left, up front or in the hole behind the front two?" and "Do you prefer a round collar or a V-neck on the Irish shirts?"), and the 2006 World Cup final would be over by the time the votes were counted. Although, such is the depth of feeling on the issue, we'd probably be guaranteed a 110-per-cent turn-out, which would be good for democracy.

But Hunter, in fairness, was at least passionate about the whole issue, unlike his fellow panellists, Jack Charlton's biographer and Roy Keane's biographer, who were fairly relaxed about it all.

While they chatted, their mutual respect plain for all to see, Hunter was left to debate with himself.

Peter Byrne: "It's a bad day for Irish football . . . the currency of the Irish shirt has been devalued, it's been debased . . . it's a betrayal of Mick McCarthy."

(Hunter: "This is the guy who blew apart the dreams of this nation!")

Eamon Dunphy: "Ah, 'the shirt', all that auld stuff . . . I should say about Peter that he is Jack Charlton's biographer and Irish soccer was never more a shambles than it was during the Charlton era."

(Hunter: "This guy almost caused a civil war!")

Byrne: "Typical Eamon Dunphy comment, lacks credibility, nonsense . . . the point is that Roy Keane is a dwindling influence. Alex Ferguson would not let him go two years ago to play for Ireland when he was a reasonable player."

(Alf Inge Haaland's mother, sitting at home: "Ah now, Peter, even I'd admit the bowsie was a bit more than reasonable two years ago.")

Dunphy: "That's a silly comment."

(Hunter: "He almost caused a civil war in this country!")

Byrne: "You have the copyright on silly comments, Eamon - he's a player in decline."

(Hunter: "We need him. He's our midfield general. But he could destroy Irish soccer!")

Dunphy: "Where'd you get these two guys from?"

It was at this moment that, like Mount Vesuvius a few years back, Hunter had had enough and erupted.

"A lot of people would like to sit as close as I am to Eamon Dunphy," he said, indicating what he reckoned they'd like to do to him by punching the palm of his hand. The sound of the slap could be heard in Saipan.

(Roy Keane, sitting at home: "Jeez, Alan, red mist . . . have you ever thought about anger management?")

Miriam called a halt to the bout, deciding it was time to move on to a less divisive, less thorny and less inflammatory issue: Iraq.

And George Bush and Tony Blair thought they had problems. They should forget seeking Kofi Annan's help and call on Alan Hunter to sort it all out.

("Relax, the head Muqtadar, you're blowing apart the dreams of a nation.")