Roy Keane

"Well, everything in the garden isn't always rosy, there could be something wrong there but I think he was just trying to keep everyone on their toes with his comments. Of course they were blown out of all proportion because of who he is - he's the best midfield player in Europe, he's the captain of Manchester United, many would argue he's their best player. But what he is is a winner, he's ultra, ultra competitive so the comments were probably born out of frustration because he's not winning. But some people looked at the comments and said, `wait a minute - there's a crisis at Manchester United' (laughs). Champions by Easter? It's hardly a crisis."

Liverpool

"You can't really say that Liverpool are back until they win the Premiership and they're still a long way from that, if you look at the league table. That's the disappointing thing for everyone at the club, that they're so far behind Man United. They're better than that - but, mind you, Leeds are better than that, Arsenal are better than that. But it's up to them all to catch up and I think Liverpool will challenge next season because they certainly have the players. It's like old times at Anfield, the place is buzzing - they're not back yet, but they're on the road."

Alistair McGowan (the impressionist)

"Yeah, his impression is alright. A lot of people think he's got it spot on but it's not all there. His Richard Madeley is sensational, Christ almighty - he's more like Richard Madeley than Richard Madeley is himself. He's good at me but I've been at dinners where people have impersonated me and I sit there and think `Christ, it's uncanny - that's me'."

English football

"I think we have the most competitive league in Europe and the best one to watch but we're kidding ourselves on if we say the quality is the best - it's not. Only Manchester United have won the Champions League, that's the measure - English teams won the European Cup every year between 1977 and 1984, except one, that's what you call domination."

The question he's asked most

"How many times can I say I AM DEFINITELY NOT INTERESTED in going in to management?" Not even if, say, Barcelona rang you up in the morning and said `we'll give £100 million to spend on players, any ones you want - come and be our saviour?'. "Only £100 million?" Okay, £200 million then? "£200 million," he asks slowly, allowing himself time to contemplate the offer. Then he grins. "Na, there's not enough money on this earth. Definitely not. Not interested. Never have been. Life's too short."