‘Easter’ disappears from Nestle and Cadbury egg packages

Nestle and Cadbury have discreetly removed the word 'Easter' from their chocolate eggs this season. It is not for religious reason or about being politically correct, the confectioners say.

If it was the word 'cheaper' that was being banned instead, the joy in Ireland would be unconfined at never again having to hear that Enegria 'cheep-purr' ad, with its tweety bird cheeping and its brooding cat purring, inciting rage in a peaceful nation. But it's not.

The sensitive folk at Nestle and at Cadbury just want everyone to know this divorce of ‘Easter’ from ‘egg’ is NOT about the Christian connotation of Easter putting people of other religions, or of none, off their eggs. Nor is it about the sexual connotations in the word derived from Eostre, Norse goddess of fertility.

Not at all. Dropping the ‘Easter’ word may even have been accidental, they said. According to Nestle there was “no deliberate decision to drop the word Easter from our products.”

It just... happened. It just... went missing.

Would someone out there please tell Interpol that 'Easter' has gone awol?

The Cadbury spokesman said: “The word Easter is still there in small print on the back of the packaging to reassure people that they are actually eating a chocolate Easter egg.”

This was “just in case people aren’t sure what they’re actually biting into,” he added.

“Most of our Easter eggs don’t say Easter or egg on the front as we don’t feel the need to tell people this - it is very obvious through the packaging that it is an Easter egg.”

The Nestle person, of no definite gender as befits the times, added: “Chocolate eggs have been synonymous with Easter and the Easter story since the beginning of the last century and the association is now an automatic one.”

The oval shape is the giveaway. And no, that rugby ball is not an Easter egg “just in case people aren’t sure what they’re actually biting into.”

First they came for Christmas, and we said ‘Happy Holiday’. Then they came for Easter, and we said ‘thanks for the egg’. But when they come for St Patrick’s Day we’ll tell them “...feck off back where you came from.”