Miriam's Lord on a week in politics
South Dublin winter wonderland
“I think we might be over-believing this airy-fairy global warming stuff,” declared Noel Ahern on Wednesday when the Oireachtas Transport Committee met to discuss the weather.
Easy for him to say. Noel obviously hadn’t seen this chilling photograph of Ciarán Cuffe cosying up to a polar bear in Copenhagen.
Things got so bad by the end of last year that not only were the noble bears reduced to photo opportunities with Green politicians, but their polar ice cap slid all the way down to Cuffe’s South Dublin constituency.
It was a winter wonderland down Kingstown way – “the Killiney Alps have never looked so good” wrote Ciarán on his website – that he issued practical advice on how to cope with the conditions. “Be careful out there,” he counsels. “Believe me, you don’t want to trip.” Then Cuffe reveals that he is speaking from experience. He had a heavy fall, is “recovering from sprained rib muscles” and on all sorts of medication. However, he also admits that he sustained his injuries when he tripped up on the stairs of Next in Blackrock Shopping Centre.
Very Dublin South.
Let them drink sparkling
This is a very weather-orientated column. The snows may have melted long ago for ordinary workers around the country, but life runs behind the curve in Leinster House. Sittings only resumed on Tuesday after the long Christmas break, so there was a lot of catching up to do and much talk of grit and salt and too little water.
On the water front, the severe shortages in the capital and beyond didn’t filter down to Kildare Street and Merrion Street. People passing the precincts of Leinster House and Government Buildings last weekend were astonished to see, at the height of the problem, State workers using high-pressure water-hoses to remove all remnants of ice, snow and slush from the roads and footpaths. The process went on for hours. Is this, still, how is it for our Marie Antoinettes behind the palace gates? “Boss, the people have no water.” “Let them drink sparkling. And water the Ministers’ bulbs while you’re at it.”
Meanwhile, on Dublin’s north side, Independent TD Finian McGrath pulled the sort of stroke Fianna Fáil would have been proud of 10 years ago.
His sidekick, Cllr Damian Farrell, spent much of the Christmas period driving around Finian’s North Central constituency and sanding down the elderly of Marino and Donnycarney. Or something like that. He had hitched a trailer-load of sand (we hope it wasn’t from Dollymount) to his car and gritted the footpaths of locals who needed assistance.
Then the thaw set in and the water was cut off. So Finian bought 25 plastic drums and when voters rang his office to complain about the shortage, he dispatched wingman Damian and a trailer of water to them and their cisterns.
And where did the Waterboys get their supplies? “From my house and Damian’s,” admits Finian, flushed with success. Just as well the meters aren’t in yet.
Harney flies flag in Kuala Lumpur
Not all politicians around Leinster House had to endure the arctic conditions over the holiday period. The bronzed evidence of foreign getaways was there for all to see last week.
Minister for Transport Noel Dempsey caused ructions when he jetted off to Malta when the icy conditions were causing chaos on the nation’s roads.
Also abroad was Minister for Health Mary Harney, who spent a relaxing two weeks in Malaysia, taking in the resorts of Penang and Langkawi.
She left a shivering Ireland just after Christmas and welcomed the new year in the tropical embrace of southeast Asia.
Lest we think it was all work and no play, Harney spent the final day of her holiday flying the flag in the capital, Kuala Lumpur.
"Irish Minister on Holiday Stops By" was the headline on a piece in the local Starnewspaper on January 10th. "She was on holiday, but Ireland's Health and Children Minister Mary Harney still made time to show her support for the Irish institutions taking part in the Star Education Fair 2010 yesterday," it reported.
Irish medical colleges were among exhibitors at the Irish Pavilion, which took up 14 booths at the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre. “There is a very strong link between our two countries, especially in medical education,” said Harney. “We hope to broaden the number of students coming to Ireland from Asia, in particular from Malaysia.”
She added that Ireland also hoped to explore more research collaborations between Malaysian and Irish universities.
Given the currently situation back home regarding politicians and their expenses, presumably Harney did this gig pro bono.
When Mary returned to Ireland, she received a harsh lesson in how things have been in the country during her absence – her house was flooded.
Biggest leak in department’s history
Meanwhile, the secretive spooks and mandarins of St Stephen’s Green are still reeling after presiding over the biggest leak in the history of the Department of Justice.
“It happened right at the top – at the very highest level,” confided our source. “It’s so serious that everyone, from the Minister down, has been moved to temporary accommodation while experts drafted in from outside conduct an exhaustive and intensive investigation.”
Those inquiries are almost at an end and Dermot Ahern and his team expect to move back to their St Stephen’s Green headquarters on Monday. Meanwhile, internal affairs has now cleared the original suspects and is confident that the source of the leak has been discovered. “They thought it was hungry birds eating through the insulation, but now they are 100 per cent certain a burst pipe in the roof is the culprit.”
Maltese Snowman gets philosophical
Noel Dempsey’s pet topic is the reform of the electoral system. He therefore blocked off Thursday morning to attend a seminar on the subject, hosted by the Parliamentary Society of Former Oireachtas Members in Dublin Castle.
Naturally enough, there were many references to the Irish system of proportional representation by means of a single transferable vote in multi-seat constituencies. It operates only one other jurisdiction . . . Malta. This led to muffled sniggers from some of the former parliamentarians. But Meath’s Maltese Snowman was enjoying himself so much he even ventured a few jokes about his recent travels.
He quoted Edmund Burke’s well-worn line about the role of the public representative: “‘It ought to be the happiness and glory of a representative to live in the strictest union, the closest correspondence, and the most unreserved communication with his constituents.’” So far, so good.
He continued: “‘Their wishes ought to have great weight with him; their opinion, high respect; their business, unremitted attention. It is his duty to sacrifice his repose (guilty then, when I went off to Malta!), his pleasures, his satisfactions, to theirs; and above all, ever and in all cases, to prefer their interest to his own.’”
Noel also said his attempts to end the dual mandate were made difficult by TDs terrified their relationship with constituents would shift to local councillors, when he was only trying to free them up for their national purpose. “That’s another path of good intention that should have been gritted a long time ago.”
Des misses out on FF recognition factor
Also at that conference was PD founder Des O’Malley. Des arrived a little late and did not appear to be in the best of form. He nipped into a seat in the back row. One of the organisers raced over and told him he had a seat at the top table, if he wished to go up.
Des indicated he most certainly did not. “I had terrible trouble getting into the car park. They didn’t know who I was. They kept asking if I was Seán Sherwin.” Maybe Des should have stayed in Fianna Fáil – he would have had no problem getting recognised. Former FF leaders and ministers are very well known around Dublin Castle.
Bert ‘a task master’ at all that lark
And none recognised more than one Bartholomew P Ahern, for so long a stalwart of the tribunal scene in the castle. Bertie was in the RDS yesterday to perform the official opening of the Holiday World exhibition. Journalists took the opportunity to ask him his views on the forthcoming bank inquiry. His replies were somewhat difficult to catch, as a troupe of mummers were performing behind him, one of them playing the bagpipes with gusto.
They wouldn’t have lasted 10 seconds when he was taoiseach.
Is he prepared to give evidence in public, if asked? No problem to de Bert, who has vast experience when it comes to appearing as a witness. "I have no difficulty about giving evidence in public to inquiries. I am a task master [sic] at that." And what about the hard time being given to developers these days? "I said back on the Late Latelast October when everybody was jumping over developers. The issue is this. Maybe they did dis, dat and de udder but they also employed 200,000 people."
Is he interested in become the first elected mayor of Dublin? Bertie was emphatic. “No.” Definitely ruling yourself out of the race so? “On that particular, yes. If I saw a mayor with full, full executive powers – which I don’t think from what I’m hearing I’m going to see – then you would think about it.” There you have it. Ruling himself in. Ruling himself out. Legend.
Sorry, not tonight tabloids
Trinity College’s Philosophical Society pulled off quite a coup when Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson accepted their invitation to join the Phil’s illustrious list of patrons. Fergie attracted a huge crowd of students when he spoke in the Graduate Memorial Building on Wednesday night. However, while the notoriously testy manager charmed his audience, the occasion left a nasty taste for tabloid sports journalists who arrived to cover the event. They were turned away at the door, having been told “only the broadsheets” were allowed inside.
It transpired that the Phil had contacted representatives of the Holy Trinity of The Irish Times, Indo and Examiner, but didn’t inform the highly informed and widely read sports reporters from any of the tabloids. But their colleagues told them about it anyway. The bemused hacks – supported by the broadsheets – pleaded their case, but to no avail. However, in the spirit of fair play and equality, their broadsheet colleagues filled them in afterwards.
Left out in the cold were the Star’s Paul Lennon – a former guest speaker at the Phil in the aftermath of Saipan – and veteran Irish soccer writer Philip Quinn of the Mail. But in a supreme irony, Neil O’Riordan of the Irish Sun was the only Trinity graduate in the media contingent, and a former member of the Phil to boot.
Brendan Curran, who is president of the society, told us that there were “crowd control issues” on the night. He also explained that the request to exclude the tabloids did not come from Alex Ferguson, but from his friend, a bank official in Dublin, who acted as an intermediary.
“I was told to invite the broadsheets and I’d get better publicity,” explained Curran. “It seemed like the best decision to make at the time.”
As for Alex Ferguson, he knows his bread is liberally buttered by the tabloids. His two biggest spats have been with Danny Taylor from the Guardian, whom he barred from his press conferences, and the BBC’s John Motson.
What’s sauce for the goose . . .
When the idea was floated, ever so tentatively, that deputies and Senators who collect expenses for turning up to work and attending various committees in Leinster House should clock in, the suggestion was met with a storm of indignation. Government deputies reportedly told the Minister for Finance that they would “not be treated liked factory workers”. Needless to say, no more has been heard about it.
However, Oireachtas staff are not so cossetted. Fancy-looking keypads have appeared at strategic locations around the building. These are part of an “attendance management” system which was recently installed.
Disgruntled public servants say they won’t just have to clock in and out – their movement around the House can be also be monitored. Whether this will be the case remains to be seen, although we understand the ushers have refused to co-operate and will continue their practice of signing in.
Meanwhile, receipts are now being issued in the restaurant, a sure sign that deputies are worried about the tightening up of their expenses regime. An Oireachtas spokesman issued the following statement on the new arrangements: “The measure is being introduced to ensure that the office is in compliance with the organisation of Working Time Act. A pilot of the system was implemented from July last year. It is for Houses of the Oireachtas Civil Service staff.”
July last year. That’s when the deputies and Senators went ballistic at the thought of being asked to clock in. What’s sauce for the public service goose isn’t sauce for public servant gander.
Department of secrecy strikes again
The Department of Agriculture can’t seem to shake off the culture of secrecy and concealment which was so evident during the Beef tribunal. The department issued that report on the Friday of the August Bank Holiday weekend, 1994, peak holiday time for reporters and readers.
A recent report criticising the department’s handling of pollution incidents on a Kilkenny farm was also released with such stealth that it was some time before the media caught up.
The latest trick incident happened last Tuesday evening on the day the Dáil resumed and there was a major report on insider dealing. The department struck again, at teatime.
It issued a statement from Minister Brendan Smith defending the department’s actions during last year’s dioxin crisis which cost Irish taxpayers over €100 million. The statement said the report was on the department’s website but it didn’t appear until much later that night. Coincidentally, the department did not come out very well in the report, which said its inspection system of animal feed was inadequate and it should have been aware of EU information on the heat treatment of recycled food.
No, not that Mrs Robinson
It wouldn’t be true to say that the weather was the only hot topic around Leinster House. Iris Robinson was also high on the agenda. One deputy from Munster told how she went to a meeting of women in her constituency and found them completely agog at the shocking news about Mrs Robinson. They couldn’t believe it – Mary Robinson running off with a toyboy and opening a restaurant on the Grand Canal. The TD put them right on the facts.
Meanwhile, the bistro in Belfast, which Iris helped her young lover to establish, has become a tourist attraction.
Last weekend, a colleague visited the city and was brought for coffee to the Lock Keeper’s Inn. She tells us there were numerous photographers lurking in the vicinity, hoping young Kirk McCambley would put in a appearance. The place was so crowded they got fed up queuing and went elsewhere.