`It's been a kind of upward spiral'

I was living in a long-term relationship in the UK for five years with a man who was 10 years older than me

I was living in a long-term relationship in the UK for five years with a man who was 10 years older than me. I wanted to have Daniel, but after he was born things weren't very good and I began to realise I didn't have to put up with certain things. You put up with so much at times, then you start questioning yourself. When Daniel was one year old, I decided to break free from the relationship with his father totally because I had had enough of the nastiness and everything.

I grew up in England, but I have family in Dublin. My father is from Limerick and my parents moved back to Ireland from England a few years ago. My son and I are living with my mum and dad. I felt relieved the day I came to Dublin on the boat with all the furniture and everything. I love Ireland because it's so buzzy and there's lots going on. I get out in the morning at nine or 10 at latest, even if I'm just walking around. I want to be out and about; I don't want Daniel cooped up indoors all winter.

I pay my own way with the single parents' supplement and contribute to my parents' household expenses. My parents are great - they are brilliant. Totally understanding. I have an older brother and sister and my family are very close. It's been great for my son because he's the apple of everybody's eye. It helps because I know that if your family are not behind you, it's a struggle. The emotional back-up is what you need.

I myself do not feel isolated as a young single mother, but I understand some young mothers do. Places like Cherish are brilliant. They are giving you someone to talk to in the same situation as you. There is a drop-in creche, so you know that your child is well looked after and you can relax and talk, take a course or have aromatherapy. Your life changes to dramatically when you have a child. You can't be so carefree. I take my son everywhere with me, but I'm not going to take him out clubbing. So that limits your social life and you can feel very isolated.

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I try to involve myself in as much as I can, like doing this Moving On course at Cherish, which has led me take a parenting course, a management course and to develop my personal communication skills. When I first came to Cherish I had no confidence.

The first few times I was asked to speak to the group I used to crumple and die. Now I am on the management committee of Cherish and this has given me other opportunities. It's been a kind of upward spiral and all doors are beginning to open for me.

I don't think that all single parents should be obligated to work; it should be up to the person. I personally would like to get on to a community employment scheme and I have applied because I would like to get back to work. I saw a CES course having all to do with make-up, costume and theatre administration and I'd like to do that.

My talents are art-related and I would love to do theatre work - painting scenery and all that. My great-grandfather was a brilliant painter and my sister is a great drawer. I paint and do drawings on T-shirts for Daniel as a hobby.

If I do the CES course, I'm debating whether it will be this September or next September. My problem is that I have to find a creche, which is hard, and it could cost between £45 and £150 a week, depending on the place. There are health board-subsidised places but it's hard getting them.

I've applied and have been on a couple of waiting for months and have heard nothing. The less expensive private creches want the children to be two-and-half and out of nappies and I don't know if Daniel will have reached that stage by September.

At Cherish, I did a computer skills course and I passed with honours both the preliminary and the advanced exams in Word for Windows. I could go out tomorrow and get a job if there was affordable childcare available. But the available jobs do not provide enough money to cover all the expenses you have with a child, such as the creche, the rent and the bills.

My parents would look after him so that I could pursue education or a career, but I don't want to put that on them. My mum works voluntarily with St Michael's House and I don't want her to give up her life for me. I also want to be able to say that I made decisions with my life and pursued them independently. My son does not see his father. There's a lot of people who would disagree with me, but I would not be willing to leave my son with his father.

If Daniel begins to ask about his father, I will tell him. I'll just say it didn't work out between us. I'll explain it as best I can. By taking Daniel away from his father, I did the best for both of us. I wasn't doing it out of spite.

At the moment, I'm not interested in looking for a relationship. I'm enjoying life with my son and I feel content. I seriously want to sort out my life and Cherish was the turning point for me.

In conversation with Kathryn Holmquist

Cherish may be contacted at 01-6629212