Green Isle Nine left reeling in coup that was far too coy

Enda looked gaunt and haunted... Richard looked gaunt and haunted..., writes MIRIAM LORD

Enda looked gaunt and haunted . . . Richard looked gaunt and haunted . . ., writes MIRIAM LORD

DOWNED BY their own presumption, the Green Isle Nine were left reeling yesterday morning.

The received wisdom had it that Baby Bruton only had to say the word and Inda would be toast.

But it didn’t happen that way.

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When their quarry had the temerity to fight back, Richard’s rebels nearly died of shock. That wasn’t in the game plan.

Nor was Enda’s clinical sacking of his deputy leader the afternoon before. Another occasion of shock for Bruton’s braves.

It seems they expected the party leader to fall on his sword on their say so.

Enda had other ideas.

When the FG kebab (as Bertie might put it) arrived from their breakfast meeting in the Green Isle Hotel to tell him the game was up, Enda read them the riot act, closed the meeting, swept out in high dudgeon and left the kebabs roaring in his wake.

Not in the game plan.

By midday, a grave-looking gang of nine came out to the plinth to explain why they had moved against their party leader. If this had been a perfect coup, it would have been all over by then, with the new regime making plans for an orderly transfer of power.

But it wasn’t perfect – this coup was far too coy to work.

Result? Enda is still in the game, but badly damaged. Richard still in the game, but damaged. Parliamentary party members are running around like headless chickens. Touts for both sides harass wary colleagues to sign up and follow their man – it’s like Freshers’ Week in a university for special cases.

Leo Varadkar studied a copy of the rules and constitution of Fine Gael during the no confidence motion in the Taoiseach. His fellow rebels (declared) spent most of their time texting.

Enda looked gaunt and haunted. Richard sat behind him, looking gaunt and haunted.

The media is having a field day. Fianna Fáil thinks it’s died and gone to heaven.

“The noose was around our neck. How the hell did this they let this happen? You couldn’t make it up” grinned a Government deputy, enjoying a rare respite from the constant barrage of criticism.

“When are they changing their name from FG to OG [own goal].” Mindful of the way the party behaved during the no confidence motion on Willie O’Dea, the Taoiseach put his backbenchers on notice that he wanted no taunting of the Opposition during Enda Kenny’s speech.

As a result, when the FG leader rose to tell the house why he didn’t have confidence in the Taoiseach, he did so in a rather edgy and awkward silence.

Those Government deputies preferred to avert their eyes rather than look straight across at the embattled Kenny and his squirming party.

Nobody was really listening to the speeches. The turmoil in Fine Gael put paid to that.

It was hard not to feel for the Fine Gael leader as he delivered his speech, aware that over half of his front bench wanted him gone and God knows how many of his backbenchers were feeling the same thing. But hey, he called for the no confidence motion when it didn’t seem like there was much use in having one.

On the conspiracy wing of his party, some mutterers said that Enda tabled the motion to deflect criticism from the imminent Irish Times poll.

On the Government side, they reckoned he jumped in with the motion because he feared Eamon Gilmore might get there ahead of him.

And so he found himself in the deeply embarrassing situation of having tabled a motion of no confidence against the Taoiseach while simultaneously tabling a motion of confidence in himself.

The scene on the Fine Gael benches was painful to watch. Declared supporters of Kenny and Bruton awkwardly talking to each other. Both men looking uncomfortable – Kenny head down, making notes; Bruton, head down, making notes.

As the day wore on, the number crunchers went into overdrive. Most party members seemed to think Enda would finish ahead in the parliamentary party vote. But by what margin? And with a day to go until the meeting tomorrow morning, what way will the waverers jump? Some thought the tide might turn for Richard in the meantime.

Certainly, there seems to be a generational aspect to the split, with many of the younger party members opting for Bruton, who, incidentally, didn’t speak on the no confidence motion in the Taoiseach.

The ferocity with which Enda Kenny has taken on his opponents has surprised many in the party — not least the Green Isle Nine.

Some point to an interesting presence in his corner – his wife Fionnula, who used to work for the Fianna Fáil press office in Charlie Haughey’s time and would know a thing or two about facing down troublesome heaves.

Last night, the fight continued. Enda turned up in the canteen in the early evening for his tea after his appearance on the six o’clock news. He nearly bumped into Brian Hayes and Denis Naughten, leading lights of the Green Isle Nine. They seemed a bit uncomfortable.

By the end of a strange day, the consensus was that Kenny will not be able to continue with so many of his front bench against him. But he seems to think he can. Meanwhile, Richard Bruton went quiet again. This isn’t the way he wanted the coy coup to go.

Two lame ducks? “Quack Quack Quack.” Time for a compromise candidate.

Any takers? Hurry.