Whatever gets you through the night

Sleep deprivation is used by interrogators to break spirits. It's arecognised form of torture. No wonder new parents can suffer fromdepression, forgetfulness and loss of libido.

My three-month-old wakes every three hours through the night. With each shattered sleep session, the experts tell me I lose another megabyte of memory, another percentile of numerical ability and at least three watchemacallits of vocabulary. New mums are accused of being a bit scatty, but hormones, in my view, have damn all to do with it.

Interrupted REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep hampers brain function. REM sleep restores the mind by clearing out irrelevant information, facilitating learning and memory. Three to five times a night, a sleeper enters REM sleep for several minutes. The last hour in an eight-hour sleep cycle is when almost a full hour of REM occurs and the mind repairs itself. In deep sleep, which usually occurs in the first half of the night, the body is physically restored, and most people spend half the night in this stage of sleep. If this stage is disturbed, no matter how long you stay in bed, you will not feel physically refreshed.

Lamentably, there's not much you can do in the early weeks as baby establishes his circadian rhythms and it can take some children months, or even years, to sleep through the night. The best you can do is prepare for the symptoms of sleep deprivation and try to alleviate them in ways other than an eight-hour unbroken slumber.

I have trawled the web and library and picked the brains of my Public Health Nurse, GP and fellow parents to assemble this First Aid Kit for the terminally exhausted.

Safety first: As interrogation squads around the world know, sleep deprivation slows reaction time, weakens resolve and causes anxiety. Just knowing that these symptoms are attributable to your new sleeping patterns is a relief. It can also be a life saver. During these months of sleep deprivation you are a menace on the road, liable to fall asleep at the wheel or walk out in front of a bus, so be more vigilant than usual. Also, your weakened emotional state can make small issues loom large, leading to destructive arguments with people whose help you will be needing, so watch your mouth.

The first tip is the only one you'll ever need and the only one you'll never use - sleep when the baby sleeps. This is the magic bullet - you'll have noticed that your baby doesn't suffer from sleep deprivation. However, the temptation to do almost anything else but sleep when the baby sleeps is strong. You try to catch up on housework, make yourself look like a woman, read the paper, watch TV or eat food with two hands.

Realistically, you won't sacrifice those moments of serenity, but take at least a half-hour nap in the day. It's not much, but over the week it will stand to you. If you're back at work, go to your car at lunchtime (or someone else's) and sleep for half an hour on the back seat. Yesterday, I took an hour-long nap in the afternoon and woke up feeling like I had just been bathed in warm milk and honey by angels.

Eat for energy early in the day and for winding down in the evening. Protein-rich foods such as eggs, cheese, beans, meat and fish will release energy slowly through the day and keep you from crashing. Carbohydrates such as brown bread and wholewheat pasta in the evening will fill you up without disturbing what little sleep you get. Foods high in sugar will give you a short-term rush, followed by a feeling of wretchedness worse than when you started. Go for fresh or dried fruit and nuts instead (yawn). Or else you could bake your own high-fibre cookies... ha! Fibre, however, is important for energy. You might not even realise you're constipated after everything your body's been through, but it will make you lethargic. The solution is plenty of fruit, wholegrains, cereals and lots and lots of water (also important when you're breastfeeding). Iron's important for energy, too, so consider a supplement.

Harrowing as it may sound, my GP has recommended a spot of exercise to help get the blood flowing. For instance, if you climb up some stairs, until you're actually out of breath, the extra effort revs up your body making the rest of the day easier.

Better still, get out for a walk - being exposed to an inadequate amount of sunlight can cause depression and fatigue. I've invested €1.99 in a skipping rope and plan to do five minutes in the garden every morning (I'll let you know how that pans out).

Self medicate. You've been pregnant for a while and are out of the habit of taking vitamin pills, painkillers and the like. It's okay now - take a tablet, if that's what's called for (if you're breastfeeding check with your pharmacist).

Don't rule out sex. I know you're tired, but it does bring about a certain sense of well being. Good night.