Bertie keeps woe at arm's length

Dail Sketch: The private opinion polls must be showing up well for Fianna Fáil, because the Taoiseach was in rare good form …

Dail Sketch:The private opinion polls must be showing up well for Fianna Fáil, because the Taoiseach was in rare good form in the House yesterday.

Like the fine morning, he was sunny of disposition, and neither Pat Rabbitte wrong-footing him on figures nor a broadside from Joe Higgins could upset him.

Surely he wasn't taking pleasure in Enda Kenny's misery? Gamely, the Fine Gael leader mustered for Leaders' Questions, labouring under the curse of a very heavy cold.

He raised the release from prison this May of one of the men jailed for the killing of Det Garda Jerry McCabe. He had some interesting questions.

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Unfortunately, Kenny sounded like a lovelorn bullfrog as he attempted to make his croaking heard across the floor. John O'Donoghue and Willie O'Dea found it difficult to keep straight faces.

Ceann Comhairle and medical doctor Rory O'Hanlon looked on, concerned.

Pat Rabbitte addressed the labour protection laws. There are just 31 labour inspectors in the country to enforce them.

The number of inspectors is being increased to 90, said Bertie authoritatively.

That's strange, riposted Pat. The Minister for Employment says the figure is 31. Even stranger, he continued, fishing out last week's Dáil record and reminding the Taoiseach of what he said: "The number of inspectors has risen from 30 to 90. It rose to 60 last year and 90 this year."

Ooops. Didn't knock a feather out of Bertie, caught bang to rights.

Well, there would be 90 inspectors in place today if Pat's pals in the public service unions weren't placing obstacles in the way. Could the Labour leader lean on them in the interest of the exploited workers? Nobody was going to upset Bertie's good mood yesterday. Joe Higgins accused him of creating "a tax paradise for big business and the super-rich". He threw the tent at the Galway races at Bertie, along with the job losses at Procter & Gamble, corporation taxes, the Ansbacher accounts and the poor of Africa.

Bertie rose to the bait with unusual gusto. "What you would like to do is have exorbitant high taxes, high unemployment and huge poverty, and then you'd be happy." He told Joe he was thrown out of the Labour Party because he always wanted "to have things bad". It doesn't suit his policies when things are going well.

Joe bristled and blustered. But Bertie was enjoying himself. "That's what you believe in. In fairness, you're consistent. That's the way you've always been and I understand that. Fair play to you." And he waltzed out, delighted with himself. As were the female politicians, out at the front gate for a photocall to mark International Women's Day. There they were, confident, powerful women in control of their own destiny. And then a photographer (male) ruined the moment.

Looking down the line, he called out: "Could youse do the can-can for me, girls?"

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord

Miriam Lord is a colour writer and columnist with The Irish Times. She writes the Dáil Sketch, and her review of political happenings, Miriam Lord’s Week, appears every Saturday