Australia is a big country. Over seven million square kilometres, to be precise, and Tanja and I did it in 23 days. To tell the truth, we only managed the east coast, chasing along the oft-travelled backpacking route between Cairns and Sydney, with a list of "must-sees" in one hand and a stop-watch in the other, before arriving breathless and bemused for a quick jaunt around Australia's largest city. An Olympian feat, you might say, or if you were Australian, "bloody stupid".
All this fast-forward sight-seeing would only be possible in a country such as Australia, where, alarmingly, backpackers appear to outnumber the natives. Backpacking is better catered for than any other form of travel. Certainly, we found ourselves befriending Canadians, English, American, Germans and thousands of Irish tourists at every turn, the challenge being to converse with someone who was, in fact, Australian.
The east coast in particular is dense with tourists, and with its series of must-sees, contains a pretty well-worn path whereon all who backpack tend to travel.
The popular option is to travel north from Sydney to Cairns. Unlike most travellers, we did it the other way around - from Cairns to Sydney - marking ourselves out as alternative and vaguely adventurous. Cairns is the perfect place to start. Once we'd stopped salivating over the plethora of fresh fruit and ice-cream, and gotten over the plentiful supply of hot water, we were further amazed by how easy Australia makes it for travellers.
So many breathtaking views and experiences were only a day-trip from Cairns, and all visits included lunch, guides and equipment. Granted, each trip cost the equivalent of a week in Nepal, but we understood that the luxury of fresh salad and air-conditioned buses was worth paying for handsomely. Just off the coast of Cairns, the Great Barrier Reef is one of the few sights on the tourist trail to which the term "unmissable" can sincerely be applied. The largest reef in the world - in fact, the biggest structure made by living organisms - can be accessed from various points along the Queensland coast.
From Cairns, a number of options exist for viewing the reef at various prices. You can choose the glass-bottomed, super-speed, gourmet lunch boat. Or you can, as we did, spend the day on a smaller, slower and infinitely more relaxing boat, and see just as much for a lot less money.
We were taken to the outer reef by Peter, our friendly skipper who was so laid back he drove the boat with his feet. This is where I had my first scuba-diving experience. It was exactly as I'd always imagined: heavy breathing, communication by hand signals, beautiful coral reefs and fish that almost defy description.
If fish aren't your thing, however, there are plenty of other water-based options to choose from, including white-water rafting, kayaking and canoe trips. Thrill seekers are also big money in Australia, and bungee jumps, sky-dives and hot air balloon rides are available for a hefty fee all the way down the coast.
One area that is easily accessible from Cairns is Daintree, "where the rainforest meets the reef". Trek through rain-drenched tropical trees to encounter insects and amphibians that you'd smash to a pulp if you met them anywhere else. Check out the sorely misnamed Cape Tribulation and keep your eyes peeled at all times for cassowaries - large emu-like birds, so rare that those who do catch a glimpse of them get a direct ticket to the backpacker hall of fame.
Afterwards, it's back to Cairns for the necessary drink in the Woolshed. Anyone with a pulse who steps inside its doors, it boasts, is guaranteed to get lucky. And they do. Right there, on the dance floor.
With a hangover and pocketful of loose change, we began our trip down the east coast. However, we had to be in Sydney on time for our flight - and that was only 2,000-odd kilometres away.
IN the first flush of eagerness, we overshot the Whitsunday Islands, one of the established stops along the east coast route. This brought us to Hervey Bay, where we booked a tour of Fraser Island: tour being a slight exaggeration. Basically, we were given a four-wheel drive, a map of the island, and seven strangers to share the ride with, and were pointed in the direction of the ferry.
We spent three days on this island of sand, and two nights camping in torrential rain. Stunning views, wonderful lakes ... but mind the dingoes (one of them walked off with Tanja's hiking boots) and move swiftly on.
Next stop Noosa, where Kookaburras and koalas were sighted. We strolled in the beautiful national park past clean, sandy beaches and through forests of eucalyptus. As a little bonus, the Olympic torch decided to pass through Noosa on its tour of Australia while we were there.
We were pleased to note that we were beating the Olympic torch in the race around Australia, although thousands of different people were involved in its transport.
Once the flame had passed through, we were on the road again. We drove straight through Surfer's Paradise, renowned as the nucleus of all that is tacky and tasteless in beaches, and headed towards Byron Bay. On the way, we took an impulsive detour and found ourselves in Nimbin, a small town west of Byron without a beach in sight.
Nimbin had been a declining dairy town before a hippy festival in 1973 put it back on the alternative map. Now it mainly comprises communes, and is the marijuana centre of the Australian east coast. Our stop in this funky little town left us only a day for Byron Bay, although we'd been warned by several Byron enthusiasts that the place requires at least a week. It is a beautiful area, with long sandy beaches, blue seas and dolphins dipping in and out of the many coves. Surfers collect here in their thousands, as do "New Agers" drawn by the town's "alternative" culture. With a kicking night life and plenty of cheap eateries, Byron does have its attractions, but with our clock ticking, we had only time for a quick glimpse of the dolphins and a peanut butter sandwich on the beach before were on our way.
We reached Sydney two days before our flight out, which gave us just enough time to sprint around the Opera House, take a quick snap of Harbour Bridge, hop on a ferry to Manly Bay and jog through the craft markets at The Rocks, before catching our plane to New Zealand where we've allocated a mere 18 days. New Zealand, however, is only 365,000 square kilometres. It'll be a stroll in the park.
roundtheworld@ireland.com