Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘I’ve storted a rumour Matt Damon wants to build a house on Coliemore road’

‘I just want him to see what people from Dalkey are really like’

“I’ve been avoiding calling you!” the old man goes. “Feared that you and I would get sucked into another one of our famous political contretemps vis-a-vis the merits or otherwise of Mr Joseph Robinette Biden jnr! As I said to Hennessy last night, I wonder will we ever see in our lifetime an American president who thinks the poetry of Seamus Heaney is just okay?”

I’m like, “Dude, I’m busy,” because I’m writing my Ireland XV to face England at Twickenham into my famous Tactics Book.

The Irish Times
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