MotorSport Some Formula One circuits tracks are pure heaven. Others are various forms of hell, writes Justin Hynes
HEAVEN . . .
1 MELBOURNE: Simply the best. The wonderful city and its people, its brilliant cuisine, fine wines and guaranteed good weather combine for the near perfect weekend. A great support race card adds to the fun of F1. Expensive to get to, so best included as part of a major holiday. After the Oz GP it's downhill all the way.
2 BARCELONA: Another city-based race, they're always t he best and Barce is one of Europe's jewels. The circuit's just 20km from the city, so base yourself in and around the Ramblas, head out at about 11pm, party like there's no tomorrow in the great bars and clubs and then wake up with the mother of all hangovers and make her even more angry by taking in the race.
3 MONACO: An overpriced cliché maybe, but Monaco is always a must see and do. The cars are never so slow but never look so quick as you get within feet of 18,000 bhp missing a barrier by inches. The partying starts on the Wednesday before the race, breaks for a day off on Friday as F1 folk take to yachts to detox and then kicks off again that evening and doesn't stop til Monday.
4 MONTREAL: Undiscovered country as far as most Irish fans are concerned but, with flights through Toronto from Dublin during the summer, getting there has never been easier. The city's a blast: French culture meets US service ethics in a firework blast of bonhomie. The circuit is in the city too, so transfers are simple. The track is good, it's a great venue and nightlife goes ballistic on GP weekend as they close off several main thoroughfares and party til dawn.
5 BUDAPEST - A curate's egg of a weekend as the race is guaranteed to be a snooze-fest because of the Hungaroring's go-kart track nature. But it's 20km from the city, easy to get to and the city is fantastic. Has lost a little something since the post-communist days when you could live like a king on thruppence ha'penny amid crumbling splendour but, even as prices skyrocket and Hungarians embrace the very Irish art of ripping off tourists, it's still a fun town. Just don't spend your whole weekend in Beckett's Irish bar, there are cheaper and more interesting pubs and clubs that the locals favour and which are more fun.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
IMOLA: Again in the countryside, but flights direct to Bologna from Dublin help and the circuit's about 35km from the city. Race day atmosphere among the tifosi is incredible and again the eating and drinking are peerless. And, with Tuscany and Umbria less than an hour's drive away, making Imola a feature of a longer holiday is real option.
MONZA: Milan, Milan, Milan and, once again, the insane tifosi-driven atmosphere at the venerable old parkland circuit.
HELL . . .
1 NURBURGRING - The legendary circuit isn't used. The anodyne new circuit is in the middle of the countryside, the cuisine is guaranteed to induce coronary thrombosis within 72 hours and it's an annoying two hours Frankfurt. Unless you prolong your stay (with risk of death by boredom a very real possibility), you won't even be allowed to kill yourself driving the fabulous old Nordschliefe circuit - it's closed on F1 weekend.
2 SILVERSTONE
I've written before about why I hate Silverstone. I loathe it from its inflated sense of self-importance, to its hideous traffic problems, from its rubbish weather to its slapdash facilities and increasingly useless track, not helped by roving Irish ex-priests.
3 SAO PAULO - This can be an amazing weekend once you're clued in to where to go and where to avoid, but not for novices. Sao Paulo is difficult, dirty and dangerous, but amazing fun can be had - and that includes at the tumbledown old Interlagos circuit where the samba vibes are utterly infectious. But once that's done, the smog, hideous traffic and palpable air of personal risk make it the kind of place where one might be tempted to lock themselves in their hotel room for the weekend.
4 HOCKENHEIM - Seems like I'm hammering the Germans and I am. Hockenheim, since its re-vamp, is quite frankly dreadful. New grandstands mean you can get a great view but who wants to look at paint dry for two hours. Also, unless you can land yourself a berth in close-by lovely Heidelberg, you'll be at a loss for some cultural stimulation away from the track. The surrounding towns are industrial wastelands with little to recommend them. Add to that thousands of mullet-headed German Ferrari fans in thongs singing DJ Otzi "songs" until the small hours and it's best avoided.
5 MAGNY COURS - I like it because, after Monaco and Montreal, it's usually a welcome weekend of R&R, but only once you arrive (finally) in Nevers. Flights through Paris are the only realistic option and that entails a crawl (anything from one to three hours around the Peripherique) and a 280km drive to the centre of the middle of nowhere. Accommodation is best described as "quaint" and aside from Sunday's main event, there's not much to keep you busy. Having said that, Nevers is a great little town and, being France, lingering for five hours over eating and drinking the fantastic local produce is positively encouraged.
DISHONOURABLE MENTION:
SUZUKA: Now that Spa has gone, Suzuka ascends to become F1's most exhilirating circuit, but the sheer trauma of getting to and from the place render it occasionally hellish. A 14-hour flight to Osaka, a three-hour train ride to Suzuka itself, hotel rooms no bigger than a matchbox and the very unlovely urban sprawl of the surrounding towns of Tsu, Kuwana and Yokkaichi mean Suzuka is troublesome venue.