While some areas are 'close' to where we work, they have poor public transport so, to avoid commuting hell, it's south Dublin or bust for us, writes  DON MORGAN

MY WIFE threatened to take away my internet privileges. It was a bit of a shock, I must say, but I was asking for it. I was getting absolutely no work done. Dishes were stacked in the sink so high, we found Daniel Libeskind sitting in our kitchen with a sketchpad and spirit-level.

In the end herself relented, as I surrendered my dignity, begging, sobbing and sulking. I do a lot of writing and researching, which is why I’m supposed to be on a computer.

What I have discovered, however, is that the internet isn’t just for finding out which three women played Catwoman in the original Batman TV show. It’s square one each time another potential dream home bites the dust.

We have about half an hour to spare between driving to work and going to bed. Websites like myhome, daft and propertypin are required viewing, as we tinker with our desires, amending maximum prices and minimum bedrooms. One of the revelations was lowering our highest asking price, and that’s where things get really interesting. Once outlandishly expensive homes are becoming reasonably affordable, except where we’re looking, which still stubbornly tries to ignore new realities.

On a search for three-bed semis, two different houses, both with the same benefits and drawbacks for us, have ragingly different asking prices. The first house was, for instance, a wonderful house. It had everything. It was close to all amenities, recently renovated and extended. It had a hi-spec kitchen, which made both my wife and I almost emotional. Asking price? €475,000. A respectable price: affordable with change to spare. Perfect. Location? Marino.

Dublin city is blessed and cursed by being a charmingly ramshackle city with ramshackle infrastructure. Someone will have the honour of owning this house, but it probably won’t be us. Despite being close to the Dart, we were reminded of a dear friend’s hassle. She has small children and tried, unsuccessfully, to balance working in Monkstown with a commute from Castleknock which got the better of her – 21st century traffic really isn’t compatible with an 18th century roads network. Despite planning, she was like Ernest Shackleton, and how much time she’d be gone for was anyone’s guess. We’ve no kids yet, but we need to plan ahead.

The other house had similar specs to our mirage in Marino. It was in Goatstown, and was listed with an asking price of...? Nothing. It said “price on application” (POA), and when it says that, then there’s a problem. POA is estate agent-ese for “povvers oughtn’t ask”. POA for a three bed-semi in Goatstown!

This neighbourhood is one of those places you mention living in at parties with the prefix “out in”, like Ulaan Bator. Yes, it has good schools and facilities, but so does Marino, and both are equally safe or dangerous. And getting to Monkstown from Goatstown has no public transport as reliable as the Dart. Advantage, Marino.

I grew up in south Dublin. I know it and know that the right location for a buyer now means more than what looks good on your gas bill. For example, we briefly lived in Stepaside. Despite being able to see our place of work from our apartment, our commute took over an hour, one way. Investment in a catapult and a pair of crash helmets might have helped. Stepaside has no serious public transport, and the 44 bus is only used to annoy tourists, trying to reach Powerscourt without resorting to hiring a helicopter.

What such places offer, though, is a theoretical closeness. During the boom people had to justify living in locations, where amenities and convenience were touted as fact, when fact was anything but. We’ve seen the consequences from friends as well as ourselves.

Online, you see not only what’s on offer, but how much it costs and what it cost six months ago. It can also show you what houses cost in areas equivalent to those you are looking in. When you go to view a property, you can decide what it’s worth to you. For us, location is a key factor, because of past experience. We can’t afford to buy a notion.