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A garda frontline worker: ‘I worry about bringing Covid into our home’

Mother of three Sgt Emer Lamon on finding a balance between self care and family

"It's important to get a few minutes to yourself, whether it's going for a quick walk or escaping to read a book, just a few minutes of me-time," says Sergeant Emer Lamon, who has seen her hours change from 10 to 12-hour days since the pandemic started.

A mother of three children aged 9, 7 and 4, Emer has found the obstacles of working on the frontline need a careful balance of selfcare, gratitude and as much family time as possible, although this has proven difficult under the circumstances. Along with this, the fear of coronavirus is “always there due to the numbers of people we are in contact with daily”.

For 20 years, Emer has been a member of An Garda Síochána, currently attached to Tallaght Garda Station with responsibility for the Community Policing Unit. Along with her colleagues, she has juggled the current roster during the pandemic, working shifts on any day from early in the morning until late in the evening.

“I worry about bringing Covid into our home,” Emer says. “All we want at the end of our shift is to get home safely to our families. We’re going into premises and situations on a daily basis where we have no option but to be in close contact with people. We wear the appropriate protective equipment but there is always that fear, particularly when you have been advised that a person is positive or waiting for testing or results.

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“As gardaí we don’t have a choice whether to go into these situations or not. It’s our job and people’s safety may be at risk.”

Throughout the pandemic, our gardaí have been protecting and supporting the most vulnerable members of our communities. Reliant upon Emer and her colleagues at a time when stay-at-home measures, restrictions, and protecting lives is at the forefront of everything we do, this increased workload has brought them in close contact with those needing assistance with everyday tasks.

“We are active in engaging with other vulnerable members of our society who may have mental health issues or elderly people living alone,” Emer reminds us. “We try as much as possible to engage with people, so they don’t feel as isolated.

“We also carry out a lot of work with Little Blue Heroes, a charity where children who are seriously ill become honorary gardaí. We have two currently attached to the Tallaght District. During the pandemic it has been important to engage with them, so they know they are still part of the organisation and we have not forgotten about them.

Intense workload

“This is on top of our regular duties such as carrying out patrols and attending incidents. We have seen a large increase in domestic abuse incidents and also mental health issues we are required to deal with on a daily basis.”

The workload continues to be intense for gardaí. The pandemic has added many additional factors to consider along with the thoughts of balancing work and home life. Emer leaves the house before her children wake in the morning and is home in time for bedtime, perhaps catching an hour with her family.

“The children have missed me during the day,” she says, “and want nothing more than a hug and a cuddle, but unfortunately, they have to wait until I shower and change to protect them as best I can. I am often exhausted and may have had a stressful day and it’s important to even just take 10 minutes to myself before interacting with the children. They don’t understand what Mammy may have had to deal with in work, and they never should.”

While Emer does her best to support her children and create a positive family environment, setting boundaries between work and family life has not always been easy

Throw in the issue of childcare and home-schooling and we’re facing whole new parameters to parenting and the work-life balance which we never envisaged before the pandemic. As for many on our frontline, childcare has been an issue for Emer. “We had a childminder before the current restrictions,” she says, “but she has her own family to think of and small children who are off school also. So, at present we are relying on family members to help out. My partner works Monday to Friday so the weeks where I am working weekdays I may have to take annual leave for some of the days to care for my children.”

There is also the extra responsibilities of home-schooling during the pandemic which has thrown another spanner in the works of an already stressed work and home life. “I have learned that I don’t have the patience to be a teacher!” laughs Emer. “Our children attend a Gaelscoil and while the school is completely understanding that we are frontline workers and may not always be able to keep up with the assigned work, as a parent you do not want your children falling behind the rest of their classmates.

“The assignments can prove difficult to family members minding them as they may not have a sufficient level or any Irish at all. I probably get a dozen phone calls while I’m in work on how to set up video calls, or how to do certain assignments. It’s not always feasible to take these calls. There are times you’re coming home after a 12-hour shift trying to help the children catch up on schoolwork.”

While Emer does her best to support her children and create a positive family environment, setting boundaries between work and family life has not always been easy. “I’d like to be able to say that on my days off, work is off limits, but it doesn’t work like that,” she says. “I try and deal with work incidents and calls around the children’s schedule, but it can be full-on at times and often not easy to balance.”

Selfcare

With video calls to attend, phone calls to answer and on occasion being called into work due to a serious incident, Emer recognises the struggle she and her colleagues routinely wrestle with. Appreciating the necessity of selfcare and taking time for herself, she has found throughout the pandemic how important time for herself is.

“If you don’t look after yourself it will be difficult to look after your family,” Emer rightly conveys. “It’s important to stay in touch with friends, some of whom may be in similar situations. To have someone to vent to if needed. As they say: ‘It’s good to talk’.”

Along with sharing her own burdens, Emer is aware of how the pandemic is affecting her three children and how they need to talk and share too. While our social circles have gotten much smaller, or diminished, we have all found a new appreciation for each other and our personal struggles.

“This is also true for the children. They miss their friends and classmates, so we make sure they keep in touch with their friends through video calls. As much as we can, when I am not working, we sit down and have dinner together in the evenings. This gives us a chance to talk as a family. We’re definitely not the Walton’s, but it may be something as simple as talking about a new game they are playing, or what they plan to do the following day.”

The silver lining to the pandemic for Emer and her family, like so many of us, has been spending more time together as a family. But throughout the past year, Emer’s balance of working the frontline and protecting family life has been tackled from a viewpoint of protecting her mental health. She leaves me with this thought: “Take time for yourself. Look after your own mental health.

“In our job, we are exposed to a lot of traumatic incidents that no one should be exposed to. Talk to your friends, family, and colleagues and know what supports are there. Don’t be afraid to use them.”

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