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Ellie Goulding: ‘I enjoy the idea that I could be a character and I don’t necessarily have to be myself any more’

After a pandemic and changes in her personal life, the singer has gone in a new direction. ‘I just hope it will be an escape for some people’


When she was in the studio recording her fifth album, Ellie Goulding came to a realisation: she really, really wanted to make a pop record. Considering the 36-year-old is a pop star by trade, this may not seem like a gravity-shifting revelation. However, in light of everything that has taken place in recent years – a pandemic, marriage, motherhood – you’d be forgiven that Goulding might be drawn to exploring her emotions in a more sentimental setting. Not so: Higher Than Heaven, she explains, is an unapologetically surface-level pop record.

“Some of the lyrics on this album, I really pray that people don’t try to over-intellectualise them, or try and interpret them in some way,” she laughs, half-groaning when we speak via Zoom. “And it’s actually quite a relief to not have to explain or go in deeply to the songs. I’m looking forward to it just being about the sound, and the way that I sing it, and the live performance.” She grins. “I’ll go back to talking about motherhood and marriage and all the things that have been big over the last few years, but I’m just glad that I don’t have to do that right now. It’s too emotionally taxing.”

She stifles a yawn, apologising for her tiredness; that’ll be down to Arthur, the almost two-year-old son she shares with her art dealer husband Caspar Jopling. The last few years have been busy on a personal level for Goulding – who first came to prominence in 2010, sealed her burgeoning global fame by performing at Prince William and Kate Middleton’s wedding the following year, and has gone on to be one of the biggest pop stars of her generation.

Her last album, Brightest Blue, was released in July 2020, but she has since realigned herself in unexpected ways. Having toured consistently since the age of 20, it was initially difficult to separate Ellie the Performer from Ellie the Person.

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“The pandemic was already a big shift for so many live performers and musicians,” she nods. “I realised that going out and performing was something that I relied on for so long, and I took it for granted; I realised that it was the thing that held me together. So I felt that the most in lockdown. And then I got pregnant, which just catapults you into a whole other realm of fear and worry and anticipation and all those things, so it was kind of an intense time for me. But I think the main thing is that I continued to write, and I continued to do the same thing that I’ve always done.”

Goulding returned to the studio when Arthur was just two weeks old; something, she says, she regrets in hindsight.

“I would say that I had a kind of delayed reaction to motherhood,” she admits. “Physically and biologically my instincts kicked in, and I was breastfeeding and all that, and it was wonderful and I felt the endorphins and all the happy hormones and all that stuff. And then something kind of kicked in and I panicked; I needed to get back to work, for whatever reason. But it wasn’t like I was going back on the road; I was just going back and sitting in the studio and speaking up every now and then about a lyric, or picking up the guitar. So it wasn’t a strenuous thing to go back to, but I think in hindsight, that it was too early. I wish I’d spent a bit more time at home just recovering and relaxing.”

Nevertheless, in those early days she found herself gravitating towards lighter, upbeat tunes instead of the heart-on-sleeve emotive balladry that she has peddled in the past.

“It was almost like all of my emotion was being taken elsewhere, so that when I got to the studio, it was all about the art of pop, and how I could make a perfect pop record, basically,” she nods. “So unlike Brightest Blue – which was, for me, one of my most heartfelt albums and something that was very personal – this one was more about ‘Okay. Let’s write some good pop music’.”

Songs like the bolshie, joyful pop of Cure for Love, the moody ping of By the End of the Night and the updated-1970s-disco vibe of Love Goes On are certainly faithful to that manifesto.

“I’ve been listening to a lot of dance music, to be honest,” she says. “A lot of upbeat stuff. I don’t know whether it’s just extreme escapism, but I haven’t felt any inclination to listen to slow songs or ballads, or personal songs.” She took her cue, she says, from artists like The Weeknd. “When he makes music, it’s like it’s his version of melancholy – but it’s almost like he’s playing a character,” she nods. “I sort of enjoy the idea that I could be a character and I don’t necessarily have to be myself any more. A lot of people have got to know me through the more ballad-y songs; definitely in the UK, maybe not as much in the US. So actually, I was drawn to the idea that my music is like an alter-ego.”

I know that I’m a good writer, and I know that I like to make pop music that’s maybe slightly ahead of its time

Another shift in Goulding’s life has been accepting her mental health issues, and finding ways to handle them. She has suffered from anxiety for years, she says, as she relayed to fans in an Instagram post last year. When we speak, though, she is “incredibly calm” and is sipping on a herbal drink said to soothe the brain and lower blood pressure.

“I’m really open about the fact that I have anxiety, and actually, I realised that I’ve always had it – it’s just sort of blown up recently,” she explains. “But I’ve had it since I was a kid, it kept me up at night. I think that it’s probably part of why I got to where I did, and it was a blessing in disguise for a while. But it’s got to a point now where I have to seek therapy and seek help for it, because it’s debilitating.” She sighs, smiling. “I love talking about it because, honestly, I just like to feel like I’m not alone. I think people assume that I have lots of friends and a big support network, but I really don’t. I have a handful of friends, I’m an introvert, I’m quite shy – so I find myself having to speak to professional people who can give an unbiased, almost clinical take on it, because I like to understand the science behind what’s going on with my body so that I can deal with it better.”

She takes a deep breath, smiling. It’s clear that Goulding has changed quite a bit with the advent of thirty-something life, as many people do. Acceptance, she says, is key. Even so, she has previously spoken about how detached she feels from some of her earlier work, particularly her third album Delirium. What’s to say that she won’t feel the same about Higher Than Heaven a decade down the line?

She doesn’t need too long to consider the question. “You can’t do that,” she shrugs. “When you make an album, it’s true to who you are at the time. And at the time [Delirium was released], I was probably being someone else – and that was probably reflected in my music. Maybe I wasn’t being authentic, maybe I wasn’t being the writer that I know that I am.” She sighs again. “I know that I’m a good writer, and I know that I like to make pop music that’s maybe slightly ahead of its time. I like the fact that people can always distinguish me from everyone else. But I just felt like that album was reflective of who I was at the time, and I probably wasn’t very happy; I was probably in the middle of the height of the chaos of my job. And so I think that it’s valid to be honest with yourself, and say that there are some albums and some things that perhaps now, you don’t enjoy. If you love it [at the time], then what more can you do?”

She reiterates what she said earlier about her new album Higher Than Heaven: it is the album she needed to make at this point.

“It was intentionally an album of songs that I love to sing and love to perform – and loved to write, too, actually,” she shrugs. “I love to write pop music; I’ve never shied away from that. I think that I challenge myself vocally with it, and I’m looking forward to challenging myself with the live set-up. I’m glad that it’s not necessarily open to interpretation. It’s a relief, actually,” she grins. “I just really hope that it’s an album of escape for people. I think it’s coming at a good time.”

Higher Than Heaven is released on April 7th