BIKE LEG:Does my calf look big in this?

You’re sitting in your office on Monday morning, minding your own business, when your boss strolls in, one pant leg rolled up and tucked into his argyle sock. He seems oblivious to the state of his lower right leg – in fact, he almost seems to be flaunting it. You daren’t say anything, so you avert your eyes and try and ignore it. Eventually, just before he’s about to go into an important meeting, you broach the subject. “Er, boss, I think you’ve got a touch of bike leg there.”

Is that a medical term?

Professionals who cycle to work are increasingly susceptible to bike leg. It happens when you roll up your trouser leg to avoid catching it in the bicycle chain, and then forget to roll it down again. As more and more people choose the pushbike as their preferred mode of commuting, offices everywhere are becoming filled with people sporting bike leg. Chronic sufferers of bike leg often never bother to roll down their trouser leg after they dismount, or undo their bicycle clip, and are happy to walk around with one trouser leg shorter than the other – in some extreme cases they’ll even cut the bottom off their trouser leg to save the hassle of rolling it up each time they get back on their bike.

So it’s become an epidemic.

The current Government initiative to get 150,000 people on their bikes means that Irish businesses are likely to see an increased incidence of bike leg. Most people want to save money on travelling, but not at the cost of their nice work suit, so expect to see more of your colleagues sporting this “hip” new look.

Good thing I’m around to point out their fashion faux pas.

Actually, bike leg has become a fashion item in itself – for many cyclists, it’s the to-die-for look this spring. And it’s not just office workers – for students at the University of Montana, bike leg is de rigueur. “It’s cool – a total fashion statement,” said one. Journalist Steve Miller interviewed students on the campus, and discovered myriad ways to protect clothes from the ravages of the bike chain. One of the most popular was the “geek strap”, a lower-leg guard that prevents shredding. Students also tie rubber bands around their pants legs, “triple-roll” their pants over their knees or simply wear knee-high socks over their pants.

Cool! Can’t be long before they’re on the catwalk at fashion week.

It’s a style that says, “look at me – I care about the environment enough to risk my life in city traffic, and my rolled-up trouser leg is a symbol of my low carbon footprint”. It’s also a way of showing the opposite sex how fit and active you are – somewhat like gym bunnies going into work wearing their sweatbands. Bike-leggers believe they’re James Bond on two wheels, saving the world while keeping their trousers oil-free.

They sound more like Mr Bean than Mr Bond.

Don’t be too quick to mock, or your colleagues may shun you and your boss might pass you over for that promotion. You might have to do some serious back-pedalling. In fact, even if you don’t own a bike, it might be prudent to start dressing like a cyclist to preserve your job security. Before you arrive at the office, quickly tuck your trouser leg into your sock. For added authenticity, carry a helmet and a detachable front wheel. Wear a reflective band around your waist, and don’t for god’s sake complain about sitting in M50 traffic – say you were nearly swept under a truck on the Rock Road.

Try at work:He's no cyclist – see, he's tucked in his left leg.

Try at home:A pair of diamante-encrusted bicycle clips – oh, darling, they'll go perfectly with my Jimmy Choos.