Weighing up ways to go forward

Gerry Thornley talks to Gordon D'Arcy, who was so self-critical after the warm-up match against the Pumas

True to form, Gordon D'Arcy was pretty hard on himself after the Lions' stuttering 25-all draw with Argentina in their eve-of-tour warm-up last Monday week in Cardiff. After a particularly frustrating, injury-bedevilled season, it had seemed as if he was too anxious for things to go well and, ultimately, it was anything but, individually or collectively.

"I've got to admit I had the old inner demons after Monday night," D'Arcy admitted in reference to the Argentinian game. "I thought things were going backwards, but I think it was just the game that was in it. It didn't fly my way I suppose, and the bounce of the ball didn't go our way either. It wasn't a good day at the office for anyone. My defence was good, which was about the only thing that came out of it."

D'Arcy was so down on himself for the next couple of days that when his father, uncle and sister attended the squad's going-away barbecue his father had to take him aside. "He said: 'Listen, c'mon, this is the chance of a lifetime, if you're going to be like this after every game you're not going to enjoy this at all and it will affect your rugby as well. Put it behind you, learn from it, and make sure the next one is better'."

The pressure to perform is heightened in D'Arcy's case because the Lions' tour long since became his sole shot at redeeming the season, and inside centre is also one of the most open and competitive Test selections of all. On reflection, he reckons he relied on those around him too much.

"I needed to take a bit of responsibility on the field myself and not wait for things to happen. It's easy to look back on it now, but we were hitting too much up the middle against Argentina and that's fine, but then in the last 20 minutes you've got to go wide. I should have been a little bit stronger on the pitch and said 'no, we're going wide.' The main thing is I learn from them and get ready for the next one."

Granted, D'Arcy is only on the bench against Bay of Plenty, and his mindset is further complicated by the need to cover centre, wing and fullback.

"I've got to be really clued in for the whole game, just watch how things are going. Especially this team. If they run it wide and there's nothing on they just put it on the deck (to kick through) and just have two lads chasing after it. So the fullback, and the back three, are going to have an interesting day at the office."

It will be an ultra-physical challenge as well. "From 12 (inside centre) in they'll really, really try to stop us. I haven't played fullback in quite a while. But the biggest thing from last week is that I've got to be more relaxed going into a game," said D'Arcy, who highlights the dropped pass from Geordan Murphy after the latter's sleight of hand from which D'Arcy would probably have run in a late match-winning try.

It wasn't the easiest pass, but had he held it, it would have put a final flourish on an otherwise unfulfilling night. It was a low pass, to his side, and he shows his right hand in re-enacting the moment to demonstrate how he snatched at it slightly. "I haven't done that in years. The last time I would have done that would have been before the World Cup. I should have been just nice and easy, even with one hand, and caught that," said D'Arcy, who admitted he had been over-anxious that night.

"Getting picked on this tour weighed on my mind so much. There was just nothing I could do about missing the Six Nations and missing other quality games with Leinster. But I won't do myself justice if I go out like that in every game. My da said as well that 'if you're not going to be in the starting Test team, you're still here to do a job and that's getting damned ready.' And that's spot on. I'm still part of the squad touring New Zealand."

His hamstrings feel fine, and he's also shed some of the bulk he had decided to put on when working.

"I'm in as good a nick as I can get." Compelled to work on little more than his strength during the Six Nations, four training sessions a day began with an hour-long swim at 6.45 every morning. "I was carrying too much weight. I was still in good shape but I was too big and I probably lost a yard of pace. I think I had the balance wrong. I need to be as quick as I can be and just keep a little bit on the shoulders."

This week, he has felt better. "Even a couple of passes around the back, which had been going to ground, have this week gone to hand. I'm starting to look a little more positively on it."

At least his body isn't weighing on his mind. All he needs now is more game time.