Provincial wars on foreign fields are talked up

Sport On Television: Heartbeats back to normal yet? Saturday afternoons just ain't the same anymore, especially when Munster are on the old goggle box.

"Good golly, Miss Molly" - as Richard Wayne Penniman, aka 'Little Richard' might say - times have changed and that's for sure. Who would have thought that a little old match between a team from the Irish provinces in the back yard of a Parisian sporting bowl would have us all on such tenterhooks?

To be sure, the Heineken Cup has come a long way in a short time; from a competition that packed about as much punch as a six-pack of flat cola it has matured into a real brew.

One with a genuine kick, and all helped in no small way by the Irish contribution . . . and the fact that this competition can be viewed by one and all on terrestrial television.

Of course, we were warned beforehand that this match in Paris wouldn't be for the faint-hearted. In fact, the metaphors and analogies flung around the various TV studios in the build-up to Munster v Stade Francais had plenty of military connotation, suggestions that it would be a war zone as much as a rugby pitch that the poor cameramen on wind-tossed television gantries were poised to bring into our safe and warm living rooms.

"If I was standing before a firing squad and I wanted someone to kick a ball for me I'd want Dominguez or O'Gara," remarked George Hook, stretching things a tad, of the possibility of a penalty shoot-out if the sides were level after normal time, and extra-time failed to separate them.

And over on BBC, Jeremy Guscott told us that Munster have "got the bullets and should be able to do it."

Indeed, the pro-Munster sentiments in the RTÉ studio - especially those emanating from Hook - were sufficient to leave us wondering if the underdogs tag that was persistently applied to Munster was really genuine.

George has built up a bit of cult following of sorts among Munster fans as something of a lucky charm. There was a time when he would go against a Munster win, knowing that's what the province's legion of supporters demanded. More often than not, these days, he predicts a Munster win; and, more often than not, they oblige him. Even if he brings pragmatic views that they don't always agree with.

So it was on Saturday. Hook reminded us that this wasn't as much of a trip into the lion's den as other games away in Europe might be; and, of course, the prediction of a Munster win - "IF O'Gara can put the ball behind the French . . . IF O'Gara gets his place-kicks . . . IF we get more than parity up front . . . and IF Williams and Wallace carry the ball, I will be tempted to go for a Munster win," said he who, allegedly, can't smile.

"What did he say?" asked Tom McGurk in mock surprise. "A Munster win?" "Didn't hear him right," said Pope, who went to evaluate the game and came pretty much to the same conclusion as his fellow analyst.

RTÉ's build-up to the match was first class. The different segments of analysis were short and sharp; the film profiles on players like Dominic Crotty and Diego Dominguez were short enough to keep interest, long enough to get the message across; and the rapport that has developed between McGurk, Pope and Hook makes them as good a team as any around.

In fact, the BBC were forced to take RTÉ's commentary of the Munster match when their own intended coverage of Bath and Llanelli was rained off - and the normally smooth Steve Rider made a slip of the tongue when telling viewers that they would be going over to watch the Castres-Montferrand match instead. Just as well, really, that they got the Munster match - because it turned out to be a riveting affair.

Guscott firmly nailed his colours to the mast. Of Stade, he said, "they are a boring side, I don't want them to go through." Of Munster, he rejoiced, "if one side can do it, (go to France and win), they (Munster) can . . . lot of teams go into themselves, these guys go out and attack."

By the end, in the RTÉ studio, McGurk and Pope and Hook were like the cats who had got the cream (and rightly so!) but, as good analysts, they weren't completely losing the run of themselves.

"Remember, the French side were short seven players . . . it was only a bounce of the ball, a flip of the coin (in the end)," said Hook.

Yesterday afternoon, the same three suspects were back in studio for the Leinster-Leicester quarter-final and, despite the militaristic analogies of the previous day and mention of firing squads and such like, all looked in rude good health - but the afterglow of Munster's win was replaced by a sense of impending doom for Leinster's chances of visiting the tiger's lair and escaping with a win.

The talk at the start was still of Munster's win - "best Munster win ever," opined McGurk . . . "magnificent win," agreed Pope.

All too soon the talk was around to Leinster and their walking wounded which didn't sound too good at all, at all about the chances of Leinster joining Munster in the semi-finals.

We heard of Nathan Spooner being "on crutches" and how Shane Horgan's leg was being held together by "sticking tape." "Who'll win?" asked Tom.

"Leicester," said Hook.

"I'm going for the double," said Pope. And they weren't joking - the boys were deadly serious.

By half-time, they were already being proved right. "It's a long way back - (Leinster were) lucky to get 10 (points). Nothing's impossible but it is getting pretty close to it," remarked Pope.

His colleague in arms was back to the old military analogies. "As the fella in Dad's Army used to say, we are doomed, doomed," said Hook.

And that is how it proved to be. But, as Hook told us at the end, himself and Pope are there to bring some reality to the analysis and, to be fair, they do that all right.

"Nobody's negative," insisted Hook, "today is not a day when they (Leinster) are going to be looking back on when they are old."

Pragmatic to the end, and just the hint of a smile.

PICK OF THE WEEK

Tuesday

SKY SPORTS 1 (7.00) - Premiership Soccer - Bolton sit precariously above the relegation zone. It's difficult to see them picking up any vital points at home to Manchester United.

Wednesday

SKY SPORTS 1 (7.00) - Premiership Soccer - Make or break time for Leeds, and this match - away to Chelsea - is the type they really need to win if David O'Leary's babies are to show they have grown up.

Saturday

NETWORK 2 (1.30 pm) and BBC 1 (1.50) - Six Nations Rugby - France against Italy followed by defending champions England versus Scotland as the Six Nations championship kicks off.

Sunday

NETWORK 2 (1.30) - Six Nations Rugby - There are more expectations on Ireland this year - with a new management set-up - than in many a long year. A win against the Welsh at Lansdowne is a must.