Planet Football

Away from home: After what happened his old Ballincollig team-mate and Glasgow flatmate Colin Healy at Celtic, Liam Miller is unlikely to pay much heed to the fuss being made about him since impressing against Arsenal in a friendly earlier this month ("Wonder kid," cooed the Scottish Daily Record), nor to the "new Paul McStay" tag he's been landed with ever since.

Things are, though, looking encouraging for the 22-year-old midfielder who has made more competitive first team appearances in the last three weeks (five) than he did in the proceeding three years (he made his debut in May, 2000). The latest came against Dundee United on Saturday, after which he earned Martin O'Neill's praise again.

Miller, who, along with the likes of John O'Shea, Graham Barrett and Andy Reid, was a member of the Irish under-16 team that won the UEFA Youths' Championship in 1998, spent a year on loan at Danish club Aarhus two seasons ago but has since been plagued with hamstring trouble. Fitness permitting, this looks like being his breakthrough season at Parkhead.

Healy, of course, joined Sunderland last week (he didn't feature in Saturday's defeat by Millwall) while another Celtic old boy, Michael Doyle (who was with Miller at Aarhus), made his debut for Coventry in the League Cup on Wednesday, as did Barrett (who scored). And Steve Staunton brought Coventry's Irish first-team contingent to five last week (although Keith O'Neill and Barry Quinn are free to leave), joining from Aston Villa and making his debut in Saturday's 0-0 draw with Walsall.

Alias Damien Duffy foxes Fox

Hearty thanks to our woman in New York (Elma) who, before her lights went out, got to see Chelsea's Champions League qualifier against Zilina on Fox World Sports. The reporter, she told us, was tremendously impressed with one of Chelsea's new boys: "Damien Duffy, looking every bit worth the £17 million that Chelsea paid for him." Next week: A Fox special on Duff's replacement at Ewood Park, Steven Reidy.

Saddam's striker capacity

If you have e-mail you very probably received this offering at least 12 times last week: "Saddam Hussain is being held captive in a house in his home town of Tikrit by Iraqi freedom fighters. The American government have offered them $35 million for his capture. Chelsea have offered $40 million."

Quotes of the week

"I've achieved nothing, I've won nothing, and that's why I am here." - Liverpool's Harry Kewell . . . don't tempt us (Dangerhere.com).

"I want him to kneel down, apologise and then I will think about it."

- Nicolas Anelka's modest request to French coach Jacques Santini, for whom he refuses to play.

"There are a lot of teams worse than Sunderland."

- Millwall's Mark McGhee attempts to console Mick McCarthy after Sunderland's 17th consecutive league defeat.

Hurling with a 'c'

Fair enough, we accept hurling isn't quite an international game but is that any excuse for the man behind www.thevillain.co.uk, an Aston Villa website, to allege that Villa old-boy Gareth Farrelly spent his youth in Dublin sweeping ice: "He couldn't play football at school, because it was not popular at the time - Gareth, at his Gaelic speaking school, played Gaelic football and curling."

Don't coach me on that

Would you blame Arsene Wenger if he imposed a media ban on himself? On hearing last week Chelsea had added yet another name (Adrian Mutu) to their squad he chuckled and said: "Chelsea must buy a new coach to get everybody on." According to BBC Online, this was interpreted on one television bulletin as: "Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger has ridiculed Chelsea's spending spree and suggests they go out and buy a manager as well." Lordy.

More quotes of the week

"They are very nice people at Grimsby, but I just could not have faced another year of going there with Wolves. They have good fish and chips, but I've had enough of getting freezing cold there, watching the tankers float past, with a bitter wind blowing in off the North Sea."

- Wolves chairman Jack Hayward bids a fond farewell to the Nationwide League.

"People seem to think that I'm some kind of country hick who spent all my time in the hills above Blackburn."

- Damien "city boy" Duff.

"You can't drive a Ferrari without wheels."

- Real Madrid coach Carlos Queiroz on pay-rise-seeking Claude Makelele.

"I worked really hard in midfield last season. Now Beckham has arrived, I will have to work three times harder. If I do the work of four I should be paid four times as much."

-Makelele.

Change of tune

"All these Viallis, Vieiras and Viagras - I don't know who they are," said Jack Hayward four years ago, bemoaning the number of foreign players in England. If you couldn't find "good players within a 20-mile radius of Wolverhampton you need your head examined". Wolves' summer shopping? Jody Craddock, Henri Camara, Silas, Isaac Okoronkwo, Oleg Luzhny, Steffen Iversen and Carlos Kameni.

Fearless Mutu

"I am not afraid of the beautiful women in England who, I hear, chase after footballers"; "I'm not afraid of being framed by the English media"; "I'm not afraid about the weather - London is not Greenland." - Adrian Mutu fearlessly heads for Chelsea.

Compiled by Mary Hannigan: