Ilyin carries weight of expectation

After the disappointment of that kick-about in Glasgow on Friday, a change of sporting pace was required over the weekend, one where you wouldn't be quite as emotionally invested. And what better way to provide it than watch the World Weightlifting Championships in Almaty, Kazakhstan – which, need it be said, were brought to us exclusively by Eurosport.

Remember back in the day when it sounded like Archie McPherson was commentating from his garage for the channel, rather than from the actual venue where the contest was taking place? Well, you wonder if their budget has increased since then, were Colin Bryce and Michaela Breeze jetted to Almaty for the extravaganza?

There’s really only one way to find out these things: Twitter. And there was Michaela complaining on Saturday night about being kept awake in her accommodation: “Why when you plan an early night does a band have to be playing in the hotel?” she sighed. Bad publicity for a Kazakh hotel? No, she was in Richmond, just outside central London.

Know your jerks

So, okay, there are still travel restrictions on Eurosport commentators, but that didn’t lessen Colin and Michaela’s enthusiasm. Both are former weightlifting Olympians too, so they know their cleans from their jerks.

To the uninformed, of course, the sport is simply a battle between folk with muscles in all the wrong places trying to lift unimaginably heavy objects for no apparent reason. But that’s just ignorance: the muscles are evidently right where they need them – not least in Ilya Ilyin’s frame.

Ilya, Michaela told us, is a superstar, a real "entertainer". You never thought weightlifting and entertainment would appear in the same sentence, but he's the Cristiano Ronaldo of his sport. The reception he got from his home crowd when he took to the stage was evidence of his superstarryness. Pandemonium.

“A phenomenal reception, that has to be worth a few kilos,” said Colin. Then Ilya nearly knocked himself out trying to lift 239kg, which didn’t sound like much until Colin told us it was 526lbs in old money. That’s a lot.

The crowd was distraught, even more so when the next two fellas only went and broke the world record. Your heart had to go out to Uzbekistan's Ruslan Nurudinov. He was still hugging and kissing his coach when Russia's David Bedzhanyan waltzed on stage and broke his new record. It was a kind of an "uh oh Ruslan, look behind you" moment. And he tried to smile, too, with happiness for David, which only made you want to weep.

And then Ilya came out again, his last chance, never having been beaten in international competition, the crowd chewing their knuckles, and . . . he did it. He only went and did it. Whoosh, the big heavy thing hoisted above his shoulders, and he was even able to turn his head right and throw a nod in the direction of his team. Cool, out.

The arena? Just picture the scene when Ray Houghton put the ball in the England net, and multiply it by 100. Mayhem.

So, gold for the double Olympic champion again, and just the seven world records. He’s already a millionaire – from weightlifting! – and his face is on every second billboard in Kazakhstan, apparently, so Colin and Michaela couldn’t begin to imagine where his fame would go next. Jupiter, maybe. Or America, which is his main target now.

From the horse’s mouth

And then when he was collecting his medal he had to take a call: the president of Kazakhstan on the line. At least

Charlie Haughey

made the effort to get to Paris in person.

By all accounts, when he triumphed at the 2012 Games he put much of his success down to eating horse meat, but, we were told – and you’d never think it looking at him – he’s now a vegetarian. Is he the first non-meat-eating weightlifting world champion? It is believed so. And if the humans in Kazakhstan love him, you can imagine that’s nothing compared to how their horses feel about him now.