ALL IN THE GAME: A soccer miscellany

Even his detractors might concede that Wayne Rooney is a gutsy little divil, a 110 per cent kind of fella on the field of play. It wasn’t, though, until reading extracts from his My Decade book in the Daily Mirror that you realised how heroically courageous he sometimes has been off the pitch too.

“On the night before my first away game the squad sits down for tea in the team hotel . . . Roy’s watching the rugby, but the minute he gets up to go to the loo, I swipe the controls and flip the channel so the lads can watch The X Factor on the other side. Then I stuff the remote in my trackie pocket.”

D’you know, you’d nearly be afraid to read the next line.

“When Roy comes back and notices Simon Cowell’s face on the telly, he’s not happy. He starts shouting.

‘Who’s turned it over?

‘Where’s the remote?’

“I don’t say a word. Nobody does. Everyone starts looking around the room, trying to avoid his glare.

‘Well, if no-one’s watching this, I’ll turn it off.’

“Roy walks up to the telly and yanks the plug out of the wall.”

Gulp.

“The lads sit there in silence. There isn’t a sound, apart from the scrape of cutlery on plates. It’s moody.”

Repercussions?

“At around midnight I get a knock on the door. It’s the club security guard. He says: ‘Roy’s sent me. He wants to know where the remote controls are’.

“It’s Roy’s way of letting on to me that he knows exactly what’s happened. It’s a message. I hand them over and wonder what’s going to happen.”

Rooney was then ruled out for six months.

No, not true, but he probably came close enough.

Winning: Out with no loss

Three wins and a draw from their first four games of the season saw FK Vojvodina lead the Serbian league, a heck of a start to his managerial career for Zlatomir Zagorcic.

But? Three of the wins were 1-0 efforts, which didn't please Vojvodina president Miodrag Pantelic, so, naturally enough, he sacked the boss.

"We have analysed our performances during the international break and felt that we should have played better football against the three lesser rivals we beat by the skin of our teeth," he said. "We didn't play well and we assessed that we needed a new coach for the upcoming challenges again stronger opposition."

The sound you hear is Brendan Rodgers gulping.

SAD TO SAY

Friday

"Both clubs have suffered tremendous fatalities through football and you would hope that maybe this is the line in the sand in terms of how supporters behave towards one another."

– Alex Ferguson on relations between Manchester United and Liverpool supporters.

Saturday

"Always the victims, never your fault."

– A section of Manchester United supporters at Old Trafford.

Point of no return : Silvestre's face doesn't fit at Palermo

Palermo finally got off the mark in Serie A on Saturday, their 1-1 draw with Cagliari giving them their first point of the season.

Disgruntled Palermo fans, though, are wondering about the wisdom of loaning Argentinian defender Matias Silvestre to Inter Milan, but club president Maurizio Zamparini dismissed their concerns.

"We did not let Silvestre leave for the money, we got rid of him because I did not like him," he said. "We conceded a lot of goals with him in defence, so we decided to let Inter have him."

Coach Giuseppe Sannino, meanwhile, rubbished talk of him becoming the latest in a very long line of Zamparini sackings. "I understand it is the job of journalists to go beyond the field and try to stir up stories, but this soap opera of Zamparini being a president who fires everyone has gone on for too long."

Does Zamparini share his confidence? "I am worried we're going to get relegated. Is Sannino at risk? I prefer to get drunk rather than answer that question."

Zamparini soon sobered up and sacked his manager yesterday.

Words of Wis-doom: Mourinho's not the only one fearing the worst ahead of Europe

"There are some things that money can't buy – trophies and history."

– Jose Mourinho sends his love to Manchester City ahead of this week's Champions League meeting. But more than anyone, Jose should know: money can indeed buy trophies.

"At the moment, I have no team."

– Jose again, this time less than upbeat after Real Madrid lost to Seville on Saturday – leaving them just the eight points behind Barcelona.

"If we play like that against Arsenal, we'll concede eight."

– Montpellier midfielder Younes Belhanda almost as gloomy as Jose after the French champions lost 3-1 to newly promoted Stade de Reims, their third defeat in five games. They play Arsenal in the Champions League this week, hence Belhanda's fretting.

"There might have been a slight suspicion of handball."

– Peter Crouch after Thierry Henrying his way to a goal against Manchester City on Saturday.

"If you want to start with the first goal you should talk about basketball, not football."

– A slight suspicion? Roberto Mancini sizzled.

"Messi and Higuain are little girls. All they did was complain about everything all game long. Messi must have been scared, because he didn't do much."

– Peru's Carlos Zambrano after the 1-1 World Cup qualifying draw with Argentina.

"It was more fight than football."

– And Lionel Messi explains exactly why he wasn't up for it against Peru.

"I will take charge of Inter one day. I base that assumption on my personality, my strength and my ability to get to where I want to."

– Walter Zenga. He's modest, too.

"After moving to the Premier League, I've realised that I need to limber up and strengthen my body trunk."

– Manchester United's Shinji Kagawa heads for the gym.