Cup final a corduroy occasion

"It would have been a beautiful goal had it been on target," ventured RTE's Ger Canning during the 1983 FAI Cup final. Similarly, RTE's Action Replay programme confirmed that the 1980s would have been a beautiful decade had it been less miserable.

The programme set the scene nicely, reminding us that 1983 was a year when the Eurythmics were happening musically, when the Triple Crown stand was built at Lansdowne and when Ben Dunne was in the news.

That year's domestic cup final was between Sligo Rovers and Bohemians and was, in setting, particularly true to its vintage. Colour was ultra-real; nothing was glossy. It was a steadfastly gloomy day, the pitch resembled a quagmire more associated with war photographs and, on the terraces, unkempt hair and the hooded anorak were all the rage.

Only the names Gino Lawless and Rocky O'Brien and a big Kentucky Fried Chicken hoarding lent even the faintest whiff of glamour.

The players sported the regulation skin-tight jersey of the time, so that even when worn flowingly, a la Chris Waddle, it still only just managed to conceal its owner's midriff.

This observer retains vague memories of attending the said cup final, although recollection of what happened on the pitch is fleeting. The abiding memory is of standing in a pair of sodden brown trousers - the bottom half of a vile corduroy confirmation suit - and trying to avoid the gesticulations of a Rovers fan who spent his afternoon advising his heroes to "drive her on".

It was good, therefore, to see that the game itself was scintillating. The wonderful second-half chip from Rovers' Harry McLaughlin, a brilliant swivel shot and some tidy combination play made it a game which deserved a more illustrious back-drop.

"It's raining and the crowd are happy," noted Ger in the second half, which sort of summed things up, really.

RTE's following sports show, Sideline View, was a much happier affair altogether.

Representative of a forward-thinking GAA, it was fronted by Des Cahill, Pete Finnerty and Martin Breheney, who between them wore shirts which gave off more colour in one half-hour than had ever been witnessed in the entire 1980s.

The programme started alarmingly, featuring several thousand angry Wexford men brandishing crude weaponry as they awaited the arrival of Marty Morrisey.

I feared the worst and wondered whether Marty had poked fun at the hurlers, but then remembered about 1798 and all that. The ubiquitous Marty also popped up in Leitrim, to chew the fat with the county's footballers.

He visited the home town of Fergal O'Brien, feeling the need to assure viewers that the place "exists" some 20 miles from Carrick-on-Shannon, as though there had been some doubt about the issue. He also visited a primary school to ask how that game against Galway would pan out. RTE hire experts who generally fail to figure how out how championship games will go; asking youngsters to do the same just isn't on.

Early in the South Africa versus Ireland rugby Test, it seemed to be abundantly clear how things would pan out. "Horribly," seemed to be the only justifiable prediction when the 'Boks ran in a try after just two minutes.

Quick calculations set a couple of punters reeling as they considered the scoreline if South Africa managed to maintain this scoring rate. But the Irish hung tough, scored a try which must have made Neil Jenkins smile and, apparently, clocked up the best result a northern hemisphere side has managed against southern opposition this year.

Most notable was the physical size of the South Africans. Debut boy Stefan Terblanche managed to stomp home for four tries while full back Percy Montgomery bounced off half the Irish back-line as he steamed up the middle of the field. The 'Boks were relentless.

Over in the States, all eyes are on the equally relentless Chicago Bulls. On Friday night, huge numbers tuned in for what might have been Micheal Jordan's last NBA game. The day was saved by Antoine "Big Dawg" Carr. Big Dawg is a 6'10" mass of brawn, noted mainly for his longevity and dodgy visors.

On Friday night, though, he set about compiling a highlight film for the grandkids, knocking down a couple of sweet shots as Utah ensured that the best-of-seven series wasn't settled in favour of the Bulls on the night. Hopefully, it will go to a seventh game, which would be well worth checking out on Channel 4.

It would, undoubtedly, be the sporting highlight of the week. Mind you, there is talk of some soccer tournament taking place on the continent, but can't see that being of much interest.