Celebrity toters must avoid making a bags of the job

CADDIE'S ROLE/Colin Byrne: There has been a long list of celebrity bag dabblers over the years. Matt Le Tissier, the retired soccer player, had a brief spell carrying Jim Payne's bag. Jim no longer plays and Matt no longer caddies.

Lleyton Hewitt, the Australian tennis player, did a loop for the Shark earlier this year in an Australian tournament. Our own Niall Quinn spent a week on the other side of Philip Walton's bag at the European Open a few years ago. The New Zealand Poet Laureate makes regular appearances on the Australian Peter Fowler's bag.

Lawrence Donnegan, ex-bass player to the singer Lloyd Cole , spent a year advising Ross Drummond and gathering information for his entertaining book about the European tour Four Iron in the Soul.

The modern golfer is more likely to have a permanent professional caddie, someone he can depend upon and to whom he can look for wise counsel when pressure arises.

The common denominator with the aforementioned "celebrity" combinations is that the players in question are no longer competing regularly and are probably more likely to take a chance on a celebrity bagman for a week or two. The "serious" challenger is unlikely to go down such an experimental path.

There is always debate about a caddie's value. The caddie shack itself in more reflective moods admits that most of the good players in form could win with a monkey on the bag.

It is traditional for caddies to be somewhat servile and deferential - to turn up, keep up and shut up. The caddie is someone who will speak when spoken to and have his answer ready when his master asks a pertinent question. In contrast, the "celebrity" caddie may find it goes against the grain to quell his opinion.

So why would players want a high-profile character on the other side of the bag when really what they should have is a low-key, reliable advisor to do the job?

Perhaps they feel the celebrity will raise their own profile. Or maybe he will take attention away from the player. Or it may simply be a case of having someone you want to be around carrying your bag.

Brendan McGovern had played on the Irish circuit for years and has performed steadily at this regional level. He has played the British PGA, the Irish Open and the European Open as a qualifier on numerous occasions. He has had faithful bagman Gerry Devlin at his side for most of these events.

Devlin could not caddie in the final round of the Irish PGA at St Margarets earlier this year; the physical demands of caddying were becoming too much at his age, so he has retired from four-day caddying.

McGovern had to find a replacement looper for the final round. Ronan Collins, the radio presenter, who is a member at Headford, said he would gladly have caddied for Brendan that day and if there were an opportunity in the future he would like to be considered.

Ronan made his debut in Baltray last week. He was willing to get his hands dirty and do the job like any other professional caddie: clean the clubs, queue up for range balls during the usual Wednesday congestion on the practice ground.

He ran after divots and replaced them, he threw balls back to his man during his practice rounds, he supplied him with water when he was thirsty.

He did all the menial tasks that us bagmen do laboriously week in week out. It gave the broadcaster a chance to get inside the ropes and experience what most toters endure on our monotonous world trail.

The caddie shack could not be accused of rolling out the red carpet for outsiders, so when an unknown presents himself at the doorstep, it tends to take time before he is offered an easy chair in the caddie lounge.

In a sense, Collins, on his maiden caddie voyage, was given an easy passage. McGovern was paired with Terry Price from Australia and Alan McLean from South Africa, neither of whom had old-school porters in attendance. Price had a celebrity of his own in tow, an Australian Rules player from Melbourne, spending his off-season in Europe with Price. McLean had a local caddie from Ardglass carrying his bag, so in many ways, Collins was in good company and unlikely to feel the wrath of seasoned cads questioning his authenticity.

His brief was to pretty much keep up and shut up. He was to provide no weather reports, simply confirm yardages McGovern was figuring out himself and offer opinions only if asked. He was strictly informed never to pass his player a club, a classic mistake with amateurs - the player must always pull the club out, never the caddie.

Keeping quiet is not always easy to do, particularly when you are a good golfer and you feel you could save your player a shot if he listened to you.

The only words that came from Ronan's lips last week were words of encouragement when he felt it was appropriate. The affable Collins provided a relaxed atmosphere for McGovern between shots.

This is probably the most valuable distraction for any golfer during a four-and-a-half-hour competitive round. You cannot concentrate for such a long time; distractions are important.

It can be difficult to gauge in the space of a few days of competition.

The part-time celebrity caddie may be simply a bag-toter as soon as he picks up a professional friend's bag for an odd week. Lleyton Hewitt the tennis player must simply become Lleyton the bag carrier if he is to perform his task properly. Likewise, Ronan Collins the broadcaster has to subsume his ego to suit his employer's more basic demands. It's a task many public figures might find difficult.

The new pairing did not make the cut. But they both enjoyed their week together and most definitely would join up again if the opportunity arose.

Another celebrity caddie has moved back to his day job but he is welcome back on the bag in the future, which is the way a professional caddie likes to leave. The door is always open.