And finally. . .

"After watching Channel Seven's coverage of Michael Klim, Geoff Huegill and Andrew Hoy, I heard from sources that the blokes who beat them were also presented with their medals and even had their national anthems played. Any truth to this rumour?" A letter to The Australian newspaper from a reader fed up with parochial TV coverage.

"I have never fought that one before. My plan was not to grip with her, she's. . . he's. . . very strong." Australian judo player Natalie Jenkins after losing to Edinanci Silva, who was born half man/half woman (a hermaphrodite) before having an operation to make her all woman.

"I had to tell them that a simple `thank you' will generally suffice." Olympic village mayor Graham Richardson after an amorous Cuban athlete hurdled the canteen counter and embraced a young caterer, kissing her passionately.

"One thing's for sure, I'm not getting off the bike to take a pee anymore." Danish cyclist Jimmi Madsden after spotting a tiger snake at his feet when a call of nature interrupted his training run in Centennial Park.

"I felt like I was standing on a gas cooker." Cathy Freeman on her opening ceremony experience.

"They couldn't walk in a straight line and not perform. It would have been quicker to have poked them with a cattle prod." Artistic Director David Atkins blaming the antics of the Brazilian team for why the opening ceremony overran.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please continue to your right. Please do not attempt to exit in any other way. If you do, you will confuse the crap out of everyone and stuff up the system." An announcer at Sydney's mazy Town Hall railway station offering advice to lost Olympic tourists.

"Not taking a shower has grown into a habit with me." Korean boxer Kim Ki-su in his Olympic biography.

"For all of you who are seeing me for the first time, get a good look. I told you I was pretty." Muhammad Ali greeting the crowd at the Sydney's racetrack.

"That is a fantastic building. . . did they build it for the Olympics?" American tourist overheard talking to her friend about the Sydney Opera House.

"Tobago." Trinidad and Tobago sprinter Ato Boldon's reply when asked what his country would give him if he won the 100m final.

"We are no more thugs than anyone else." Australian women's hockey coach Ric Charlesworth after a heated battled against Britain.